Maybe Im Amazed
by McIntyreMeetsMizanin
Summary: Warning!  Mpreg and Slash, Miz/Alex.  This is a continuation of 'Lost a best, gained a lover.'  This can be read alone or with the other one.  Their is cursing and rape!
1. Do You Want To Know A Secret?

_**~Okay, this is , I am the editor of this fic me and wrote. Like it say on our profile, I have the worst grammar and spelling so if you find a mistake it was probably me. This is a continuum of 'Lost a belt, gained a lover' We hope you enjoy and please review~**_

Mike Mizanin had been a lot of things in his life but pregnant was NOT one of them; well now he could mark that off his list. Mike stormed into his and Alex's hotel room, pissed, afraid, confused, and a little hungry.

"Alex!" Mike yelled, he needed his lover and he needed him now, Mike was having trouble dealing with this. And he decided that if Alex didn't want the kid he didn't either. "Yeah, honey?" Alex called as he walked into the room, not shocked by his lover's sudden moodswing. It'd been happening often lately.

"I went to the fucking hospital." Mike growled, glowering at Alex. "Do you want to know what they fucking told me?"

"By your language I'm going to guess it wasn't pleasant. What is it? You're not sick are you?" Alex asked, worried. "Oh yeah, Im very sick damnit!" Mike spat the next words like the were venom. "Im fucking pregnant."

Alex's eyes widened. "Your WHAT?" He exclaimed. He mustn't have heard Mike right. He couldn't have. "I know! I would rather be sick!" Mike seethed. crossing his arms over his chest, a frown adorning his plump, pink, pouting, lips. "Your pregnant... wow." Alex breathed. "I'm gonna be a dad." Alex smiled before panicking. "It is mine... right?"

Mike's mouth dropped and he shook with rage. "What in the fuck do you mean is it yours!" Mike screamed at him, stomping off to try and calm down." Never upset a pregnant Mike Mizanin, he was dangerous. "Shit." Alex mumbled under his breath, he shouldve known better than to do that when Mike was in one of his moods.

"It was just a question Mikey, don't get all mad."

"Fuck you Riley!" Mike yelled over his shoulder, laying on the bed and turning towards the wall. Alex sighed, but didn't get too upset. He knew Mike would forget about this in the morning. He just stripped into his boxers, and laid down beside Mike. He placed a light kiss on his neck and wrapped his arms tightly around his waist.

Mike scooted away from Alex "No, remember? Your not my lover, I sleep around." Mike yelled, moving to the other side of the bed, away from Alex.

"Mike, thats not what I meant." Alex sighed, pulling Mike back to him. "I'm sorry."

"Piss off Riley." Mike again squirmed away, sending Alex accusing glares.

Alex rolled his eyes, realizing that Mike was not going to let this go at least not until tomorrow. He really didn't like sleeping without mike in his arms but he'd have to deal with it.

Mike barley slept that night, in his pregnant, moody, state, what Alex had said bothered him. His inside felt like ice because Alex thought Mike could be cheating on him. Mike got up and went to the bath room, his stomach was upset and he needed to puke. As soon as Mike got to the toilet he started wretching.

Alex woke up to the sound of puke hitting the toilet bowl. He gently knocked on the door to the bathroom. "You okay in there Mikey?" He called.

Mike wiped his mouth. "Go back to bed, I'll call one of my many boyfriends to come over and sit with me!" Mike said grouchily. "Mike." Alex groaned. "For the love of god, will you stop taking everything I say so seriously?" Alex regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. Oh boy was he gonna get it now.

Mike stood on unsteady feet. He pushed Alex out of the way and walked to the door. Im staying with John since im too much trouble for you to handle Alex!" Mike sniffled, "Oh, and if one of my many boyfriends come by looking for me, them tell them Im with John at the moment, I'll be there whore later." Mike slammed the door shut.

Alex held his head in his hands. "Fuck, why can't I ever say the right thing?" He muttered to himself. Now Mike was gone.

Morrison had been more than happy to let Mike stay, and he was up with Mike all night while Mike was puking his guts up. John and Mike had both fallen asleep in the bathroom; John leaning against the bathtub and Mike's head in his lap. Mike mumbled "Alex." in his sleep several times, oddly lonely and heart broken without Alex.

Alex couldn't sleep at all, he sat on the bed, eyes glued to the door. Waiting, hoping, that Mike would come back so he could apologize for what he'd said. Mike had woken up with a nightmare. He wanted Alex but he refused to just go home. Alex had hurt his feelings bad. Considering Mike was tried, hurt, and alone because he didn't want to wake John and Morrison slept like the dead, Mike curled up in a corner by the door, wishing Alex was there.

Alex sat there staring at the door until morning, cursing himself for being so stupid. There were dark bags under his eyes from the lack of sleep. Mike had decided to take a walk when some stranger asked him if he needed a ride. Mike said no and thanked the man but the man wanted more, the man wanted Mike. The man got out of the car, Mike tried to run but the man was faster. Mike screamed for help; screamed for Alex, as the man got ready to take what he wanted.

Alex walked over to John's room to check for Mike. But he wasn't there. Alex got in his car and began driving around, he knew there was a very small chance that Mike would be out here but it was worth a shot.

The man was almost done. By now he had beat Mike, and made Mike give up on trying to resist. There was no one out at this time of night, Mike was alone and vulnerable. Even though Mike new it wouldn't help he still whimpered for Alex to come save him.

Alex turned down an empty street and something caught his eye. It looked like a man was being jumped... scratch that, raped. Normally Alex would've left this go, it was none of his business right? But he knew that cry for help... Mike. Not even pausing to stop the engine and pull over, he swung open the door and rolled out onto the street. He ran over and without hesitation swung his fist and made contact with the strangers jaw. "He's carrying my fucking child asshole!" He screamed, pushing the man off of Mike.

Mike blinked dumbly, almost sure he was dreaming. There was no way Alex had come for him, not after the way they had been fighting. Mike didn't move, if that wasn't Alex then he was not safe, maybe if he played dead whoever that was wouldn't hurt him. Mike closed his eyes, there probably wasn't anyone there to begin with, it was just his imagination giving him false hope.

Alex finished beating the shit out of the stranger. He had him lying on the ground. He spat in his face. The man scrambled to his feet. "Yeah! Go 'head and run! Asshole!"

He then knelt down beside Mike who was also on the ground, seemingly unconscious.

"Mikey, please tell me you're joking." Alex panicked, afraid of just how bad the man had hurt him. Mike didn't know what to think, he wanted his mind to stop playing tricks on him. Mike trembled, afraid of what that stranger was going to do with him since he was done... Mike just tried to picture Alex, Alex and his smiling face. Mike felt safe with Alex..."A-Alex." Mike whimpered quietly.

"Right here. I'm right here Mike." Alex whispered, stroking Mike's back. He wanted to squeeze him, hold him tight, kiss him but he didn't think he was up for that right now. Mike opened his eyes, staring into the face of his savior. Mike didn't feel like moving, that man had beat him, violated him harshly. He shuddered at the thought of what he must look like, he knew he was bruised and batter and was bleeding, that man had torn and ripped him, he was sure of it. Mike slowly brought one hand up to grasp at Alex's shirt. "Y-You came for m-me." Tears welled up in Mike's eyes at the thought of Alex saving him, loving him enough to come out and look for him.

"'Course I did." Alex wrapped his arms gently around Mike, kissing his forehead. He frowned at Mike, he looked horrible, so... weak.

Mike buried his face in Alex's chest. "I-im so sorry! I-I couldn't stop him..." Mike whimpered. "I-I feel like I've cheated on you because th-that man touched me in places o-only you should!" Mike wailed. "I-im so sorry, Alex." He sobbed, not having the strength to do anything else. "I-I am a whore... Im s-so sorry." Mike whimpered weakly.

"Mikey, it's alright you're not a whore." Alex cooed, holding Mike in his lap. He couldn't deny he was pissed. He was jealous. He was hurt. It was killing him, thinking of what that man had done, but he knew Mike hadn't asked for it. He knew Mike was trying to get away.

"B-But he touched m-me Alex." Mike whimpered. "He t-took what was y-yours." Mike sobbed. "H-he rapped me a-and I wasn't strong enough to st-stop him!" Mike cried. No one would ever know what this did to Mike. That man had taken what belonged to Alex. Mike promised himself that Alex was the only person he would be intimate with and that stranger had just violated him...made him dirty...and stole from Alex. Mike cried brokenly.

"Mike it's okay." Alex said, hugging Mike tightly. "I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm upset. I don't want to think about what he did. But I'm not mad at you. I don't want to think of this ever again, ok? Let's just worry about you, me, and..." Alex reached down and placed a hand on Mike's stomach. "Alex Jr." He smiled.

Mike nodded but he was still plagued by the thoughts of what that man did and the feeling of that strangers hands on his body. "B-But what if he hurt the b-baby Alex...he hit me hard...kicked me in my stomach..." Mike buried his head in the crook of Alex's neck. "Wh-what if I lost it?"

"No." Alex whispered, staring at Mike's bloody, bruised stomach. He'd actually been looking forward to becoming a father. "You don't think you lost it do you?" Alex panicked, eyes widening as he looked down at Mike. "I-I don't know but m-my stomach r-really h-hurts Alex." Mike whimpered, afraid he had lost Alex's baby. Mike's fingers ghosted over his stomach.

Alex's hands tightened into fists at the thought of losing his first hope of a child.

"Let's get you to a doctor." He helped Mike up, dressed him and led him to the car.

Mike sat in silence, afraid of loosing the child but even more afraid of what Alex would do if he lost the child. Would he blame Mike and throw him out. Mike was scared to loose Alex.

Alex chewed nervously as they arrived at the nearest hospital. He immediately got Mike a room, yelling at anyone who got in his way. He cursed under his breath at Mike's limp. He wasn't angry with his lover, he just needed to know if his child was going to be safe.

"Screw it." He muttered, grabbing a wheel chair and setting Mike in it. Then he raced down the hall to the room they'd given him.

Mike was scared, Alex was really upset. If Mike lost this baby...he didn't know how his lover would take it. Mike just hopped Alex would be okay if that's what it came down to. Mike was almost positive the baby was gone, his stomach was killing him, as far as Mike was concerned he had a miscarriage. But Mike refused to say anything until he was professionally checked out. It hurt to walk but he didn't have to walk for long, Alex got him a wheel chair, which still hurt because Mike had to sit down but still, Mike wouldn't say anything to further upset his lover.

Alex lifted Mike up into his arms with ease when they got to the room and laid him down on the bed. His foot thumped the ground rapidly, almost vibrating, like it always did when he was nervous. He leaned down and kissed Mike softly as they waited for the doctor.

Mike reached for Alex's hand, not sure if he would even be okay if he lost his baby. Mike prayed but in his heart, he knew it was to late.

The doctor asked Alex to please leave the room while Mike was being checked out. He replied with a simple "No fuckin' way."

Apparently, the doctor wasn't asking, he was telling.

Alex grumbled as he was escorted out by two large security guards. He waited impatiently right outside the door.

Mike didn't want to the doctor touching him. He dealt with it for Alex and his baby. When the doctor was done he called Alex back in. Mike closed his eyes and waited for one of the worst moments of his life to pass him by.

"About fuckin time." Alex growled as he was let back in. He shot a glare at the doctor as he caressed Mike's hand with his thumb.

"So what's the deal? Is he pregnant or not?" Alex asked, more worried than he let show.

Mike shook his head, staring at the doctor pleadingly. "No." The doctor answered shortly. Mike's world crumbled. It was as if that one word sent Alex's world spinning. He felt like he was going to cry, die and punch something at the same time. He stood from his seat beside Mike

.

"I'll be right back." He croaked, then ran out the door to the bathrooms at the end of the hall. He locked himself in the largest stall, and placed his hands on either side of the sink, holding himself upright. Tears fell down his face and into the sink only to swirl down the drain.

His child was gone all because of some horny fucking asshole.

The doctor left, leaving Mike all alone. Alex had left...Mike was crushed. Mike laid down of the bed, one hand over his face to hide the tears and stop the sobs the were trying to force there way out of Mike's throat and the other pressed against his stomach.

Alex slowly, made his way back to the room. His tear streaked face was earning him many stares and sympathetic smiles. Several people stopped him to ask if he was alright. He just shrugged them off, he didn't feel like talking. He walked into the room and without words, took Mike's hand and buried his head in Mike's chest, letting his tears stain his lovers shirt.

Mike wrapped his arms around Alex, letting him cry. He carded his finger through Alex's hair soothingly, muttering over and over. "Im, so sorry." There baby was gone because Mike couldn't protect it. Mike held Alex tightly.

"Not your fault." Alex cried. "It's my fault. I made you leave. If it wasn't for me you wouldn't have been out there tonight." He clutched handfuls of Mike's hospital gown.

"It's gone." Alex sobbed.

"Shhhhhhhhh, baby...maybe it just wasn't meant to be. I left, im so sorry. I was upset...I-I didn't mean for this to happen." Mike shook his head. "This is in no way your fault. If anything you saved me...that might not mean much to you right now but it means the world to me...Y-you tried baby..." Mike sighed. "I am so sorry...I wish it was me instead of our baby..."

Alex's head shot up at Mike's last words.

"Mike, I loved that child already, but I love you more than I will ever love anything. Don't even think about saying that. No, don't even think about thinking about that. You had every right to leave, I was an asshole. Don't blame it on yourself."

"Alex...you did nothing w-wrong." Mike caressed Alex's cheek. "I was stubborn, I was taking every little thing to seriously, You wanted this baby so bad." Mike closed his eyes as a lone tear fell down. "I can't give it to you and Im so sorry. I wasn't strong enough to stop him, I lost out baby..I should take its place but I can't. And for that im sorry." Mike kissed Alex's forehead. "My sweet baby..I know you love me but you would have loved that child more and I took that from you." Mike shook his head. "You need someone that can give you a baby a-and not act like I did and loose it." By the time Mike finished he had tears cascading down his cheeks.

"No. Don't be like that. I love you. You mean everything to me Mike." Alex said, still bawling. "I c-could never love a-anything m-more than i love you."

"How c-can you s-say that? I lost our ch-child. I lost your baby!" Mike wailed, clutching Alex to his chest. "I-I lost Alex J-jr. Mike sobbed.

They sat there in silence, holding each other. The room was silent except for their sobs. "It's not your fault Mike. Y-you tried to stop him. I-I should have gotten there faster... if only i'd gotten there a few minutes earlier."

"I-It wouldn't have h-helped. H-He had already beat me...kicked my st-stomach in." Mike sniffled. "A-and you didn't know th-there was no way you c-could have." Mike pecked the top of Alex's head. Mike took Alex by the arms and tried to move him off of his stomach, he had miscarriage, that alone made his stomach bad but he also had a man kicking him in it so Alex laying on it was hurting him. "A-Alex, please...can you move up h-here..." Mike swallowed. "Y-your h-hurting my st-stomach."

"S-sorry." He sniveled, scooting up to Mike's chest. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Mike any more.

"I-Its fine...you can't hurt it much worse." Mike mumbled. "A-Alex...w-will we be o-okay?" Mike tried to calm down and stop crying but he couldn't. He wanted Alex to have the baby that was so wrongly taken away from him. Mike took it away. Mike closed his eyes as more tears leaked out.

"O-of course we w-will. I m-mean it's horrible we lost the b-baby, but th-that doesn't change my l-love for you. N-not one bit." Alex sobbed, still clinging to his lover.

Mike held Alex close, and kissed his temple. "I love you Alex." Mike whispered, and added mentally, I am so sorry for taking your baby away.


	2. Futuristic Lover

Mike was so happy, by the time he got back to the hotel he had tears streaming down his face. "Alex!" Mike called, running around looking for his lover. Since he had miscarried there last baby he didn't know if he could take the pain of having another and possibly losing it. That changed today when he went to the hospital because he felt sick every morning and they said he was pregnant. Mike was so ecstatic, he needed to tell Alex, this wouldn't make up for losing there last baby but damn it this would make Alex happy, Mike hoped as he called for Alex again.

"What's up babe?" Alex's brow furrowed, wondering why Mike seemed so excited.

Mike wiped the tears from his eyes and jumped in Alex's lap. He hugged and kissed him passionately. Mike pulled away. "Alex...I-im pregnant!"

"W-what?" Alex exclaimed, huge smile spreading across his face. "R-really!" He beamed.

"Yeah, baby really!" Mike exclaimed! "Im so happy and I love you so much!" Mike wrapped his arms around Alex's neck.

Alex's head was spinning as it really sunk in. He was going to have a child. God had given them another chance and he wasn't going to ruin this one. He swept Mike up into his arms, and kissed him deeply.

"I love you too Mike!" He smiled, tears of joy filling his eyes as he spun Mike around.

Mike laughed, to excited and grateful that Alex was as happy as he was. "Your gonna be a daddy Alex!" Mike cried as he was spun.

"Oh my god! I'm gonna be a fucking father!" He beamed. "Guess that means I'll have to watch my mouth, huh?" He chuckled, grinning so wide his face hurt.

"Not yet but I would work on it." Mike kissed Alex again. "Thank you so much Alex." Mike's eyes shined. "For giving me another chance."

Alex just smiled, kissing Mike over and over.

"Wait Mike. What will we name it! What if it's a girl, then we can't call it Alex Jr.! we have to buy clothes! And diapers! And we'll have to get a crib! And Baby food!" Alex went on and on, mind overloading.

"Alex, we have like 9 months to figure that stuff out babe." Mike grinned at him

"Well... so?" Alex crossed his arms across his chest like a child.

That's when he realized something...

"Um... Mike?"

"Hmmmmmmm" Mike purred, comfortable against Alex's chest.

Alex gulped.

"We... I don't think we've made love since... since the miscarriage."

Mike's face fell as realization hit him. "B-but...I haven't' cheated on you Alex I swear." His hands fell from Alex's neck and Mike stepped away from him, suddenly afraid.

"I know. I wasn't accusing you of cheating... i just... how else could you..." Alex trailed off, worried.

Mike had an Idea and it scared the shit out of him. Mike slowly sank to the floor, cradling his had in his hands. "N-no...please tel me n-no."

"What's wrong Mikey? You can tell me. I promise I won't get mad." Alex knelt down beside his lover, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"Wh-what if its his..." Mike whimpered. "What if it belongs to the man who rapped me?" Mike sobbed, all the memories he was trying so hard to forget came racing back.

"I-It can't. C-can it?" Alex asked, heart sinking. No, he refused to accept this. Mike was meant to bare his child, that's just how it was supposed to be. But he knew there was a very large possibility that this could be true.

"Wh-what do we do Alex?" Mike questioned, leaning his body on Alex. He didn't want this kid if it belonged to that man.

"I- I want to keep it. Even if it's not mine." Alex concluded. He was 100% sure of his decision.

"I don't...I don't want you to have to see it and know its not yours, I don't want you to think of someone else's hands on me." Mike stuttered, he refused to keep this baby if it didn't belong to Alex.

Alex paused, thinking this through.

"Mike, I really want this baby. I don't care if it's... his. I want to raise him or her as my own. I want to shower this baby with so much love, they won't care that they don't know their father. If it's a boy I'll raise him tough, I'll play catch with him every chance I get. And if it's a girl, I'll spoil her rotten. She'll be my little princess. I've always wanted to be a father Mike. Yeah, I didn't picture it this way, but I'll treat the baby like I'd treat it if it was mine. I don't care Mike, I just... I just want it." Alex said, still crying slightly.

"A-Alex.." Mike started. "I don't want to have to wake up every morning and see this baby, know its not yours." Mike took a deep breath. "That man is the last person to touch me, I wake up in the middle of the night because I feel dirty and I feel his hands on me." Mike whimpered. "That man beat me and He rapped me." Mike sobbed. "He killed our child Alex." Mike clutched the front of Alex's shirt. "This will hurt me until the day I die...B-But if you want the kid." Mike lowered his head, tears streaming from his face. "I owe you a baby."

Alex frowned. He didn't want to give up a child. Not again. But he couldn't do this to Mike.

"I-if you don't want to d-do this it's f-fine." He sobbed.

Mike hugged Alex tightly. "A-Alex...I'll keep it." Mike said, trying to hide the pain in his voice. "I'll keep the baby, okay." Mike caressed Alex's cheek. "Just don't cry sweetheart." Mike shuddered. "It'll be fine, you will be a daddy, and a damn good one."

Alex saw right through Mike's act. He knew he really didn't want the child.

"I just want a normal family, is that so much to ask?" Alex asked, looking up at his lover, teary eyed. "I don't want our child to know that they were made because of rape. I don't want them to go through life knowing that it makes one of their parents sick to look at them. I don't want them to need endless years of therapy!" Alex bawled.

"I just want a normal fucking family. With you Mike."

Mike said nothing, he just sat there. "Alex...I can't help the way I feel." Mike continued. "But I will at least try to love it, for you." Mike brought his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. "I will try for you...because I love you." Mike faked a smile,"I am looking forward to having a baby."

"Mike, I know that's not true. The last thing I want right now is for you to say something you don't mean. If we want to make this work out. Somehow we need , please tell me how you feel. Please." Alex begged. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't get rid of the child. But he couldn't make the man he loved go through with having it either.

"I told you I don't want it but...you do and I will give you a baby." Mike put his head down, ashamed of not watching the child. "I should have given you a kid a long time ago." Mike shook his head, "But I didn't so now I will." Mike reached his hand out to Alex. "I love you more than life, especially more than what I want." Mike sighed. "The kid will stay."

Alex's stomach twisted in a knot. He wanted Mike to be happy. He knew how hard it had been for Mike to get over being raped. He had just started to forget. This child would be a constant reminder. He couldn't do that to Mike.

"Mike, I can't make you go through with this. Sure, I want a child. You know I do, but we'll wait a while longer and make another. It'll be mine this time, ok? Now get dressed and I'll drive you to the abortion clinic to make an appointment." Alex spoke fast so Mike wouldn't object and make him change his decision again.

"No..." Mike shook his head. "Alex...I will not take another baby from you." Mike picked Alex's hand up and kissed the back of it. "I want you to be happy...I am giving you this baby. Mike got up and went to the bed in the hotel, stripped down to his boxer, and got in bed. "I don't want to hear anymore about it." Mike said, waiting until he thought Alex was going to let it go and when he did, Mike began crying. Mike didn't want this baby.

Alex laid silently beside Mike. He knew that Mike thought he was asleep but he wasn't. He wasn't even close to being able to sleep. All he could hear were Mike's quiet sobs and each one made his heart break a little more. Mike had insisted on doing this but Alex knew he didn't want it.

Mike wanted to reach out to Alex, tell him to please don't make him have this kid but he could and he wouldn't. Mike couldn't help the sobs that escaped him. Mike didn't want to wake his lover. "Please, God...im so sorry for what ever I did to deserve this." Mike whimpered softly.

Alex couldn't take it anymore as he heard Mike's pleading words.

"Mike that's it. We are not having this child and that is final." Alex said suddenly. He crossed his arms across his chest. "You don't want it and that means I don't want it if you don't want it."

Mike jumped, almost falling out of bed. Mike wiped his eyes quickly. "A-Alex, baby, I thought we had already had this conversation?" Mike, cuddled close to Alex. "Your gonna be a daddy, remember?" Mike said hoarsely.

"You're right. I am going to be a dad." Alex said, then paused. "One day. But that day won't be any time soon. You keep saying you want to make me happy. Well I won't be happy if you aren't. I can see already what just thinking of this baby does to you. I don't even want to imagine what actually having it would do. So we are not having a baby. End of discussion Michael." Alex crossed his arms again.

Mike crawled on top of Alex. "I-I will be okay, I know you want this baby so im w-willing to try Alex." Mike buried his head into Alex's chest. "I will do this for you, and I will try to love it." Mike's words were sincere. "But If I don't please don't hold it against me." Mike was pressed into Alex's chest, his arms resting on Alex's shoulders.

Alex held Mike up gently, so he was looking in his eyes.

"I'm serious Mike. No baby. Atleast not yet, not this one. Tomorrow I am making you an appointment at the clinic, do not try and change my mind."

"I wont go...and you can't make me." Mike was not letting Alex give up his chance of being a daddy. "You want a baby...I WILL give you one." Mike said, hiding his face, it was hard to fight for something that you didnt want.

"I can and will make you, Michael." Alex said firmly, but not wanting to be rude to his lover.

"Please.." Mike whimpered. "I-I wont be able to forgive myself knowing you want this baby and im the reason you can't have it." Mike's lips quivered. "Don't make me resent myself anymore than I already do for losing your first child."

Alex frowned. This was exactly why he had said end of discussion. Only a few more minutes of this and he would give in.

"But Mike, I can't do this to you, ok? If having this baby will hurt you, that means I don't want it anymore."

Before Mike could respond Alex rolled over.

"Goodnight. Be ready to go to the clinic in the morning." He called before trying to go to sleep.

Mike got out of bed and ran into the bathroom. Mike slid down against the bathroom door. Mike felt the onslaught of tears coming. He put a hand to his stomach and let out a sob. Tears kept falling with Mike whispering broken words to nobody. Mike sobbed brokenly, hating himself more and more.

Alex could hear Mike sobbing from the bathroom. He placed his hands over his ears and hummed quietly to himself.

"La la la la cant hear youu." He sang, willing to do anything to drown Mike out.

Mike had cried so hard he made himself sick. Mike knelt beside the toilet, puking every so often and when he wasn't puking he was crying. Mike camped out on the bath room floor that night, praying to the porcelain God and crying his heart out, wondering what he had done to deserve this and what he could do to make Alex keep this child; not for Mike but for himself.

Alex woke the next morning, eyes bloodshot from the tears. He noticed Mike was gone. He heard noise coming from the bathroom. He walked over and saw Mike bent over in front of the toilet barfing. He placed a comforting hand on his lower back.

Mike acted like Alex wasn't even there. Mike rested his head against the toilet bowel, whimpering.

Alex leaned down and pecked the back of Mike's neck, then gently nipped his earlobe, then kissed his cheek, then finally his lips. He didn't care that they tasted of Mike's puke, he loved him just the same.

Mike brought a hand up and lightly pushed Alex away. "Don't, I've been throwing up." Mike hand traveled down to his stomach.

"So I've heard." Alex smirked as he took Mike's hand. "Now, let's get dressed."

"For what?" Mike raised his eyebrow. Mike was ready to argue if needed. He stood on unsteady feet, tried from lack of sleep and throwing up all the contents of his stomach and more.

"You didn't already forget what I said last night did you? We're going to the clinic to make an appointment." Alex said, wrapping an arm around Mike's waist to hold him upright.

"No we're not." Mike calmly took Alex's arm from around his waist and casually walked back over to his suit case. "I will go get a bite to eat though." Mike began to look for a shirt he could wear.

"I'll take you to get something to eat, but then we WILL go to the clinic." Alex emphasized, following his lover.

"Says who?" Mike questioned, slipping a 'Nickel Back" shirt and and again on a hunt for a pair of genes. Mike picked out a pair of worn blue genes, turning to look at Alex with a look of warning.

"Says me." Alex looked at Mike strictly. "You are going, I don't care if I have to drag you there."

"Hmmmm well then you had better get ready to do some dragging because the only way I'm going there is if you either knock me out orrrr you can take me kicking and screaming." Mike shrugged at Alex, ready for a fight.

"If that's really how you want this to go." Alex shrugged back, he was determined to stop Mike from having this child. He lifted Mike up and threw him over his shoulder.

Mike was pissed. He screamed bloody murder and immediately kicked Alex, squirming away and running into the bath room, locking the door.

"Fuck Mike." Alex clutched his shin where Mike had kicked him. "Now Mike, if you make me kick this door down, I'll have to pay for it but I am completely willing to do that."

"Fuck you!" Mike yelled, getting ready to jump out the small bathroom window.

Lucky for Alex, he knew how Mike's mind worked.

"Mike, don't even think about going out that window. I will catch up, you'll just end up hurting yourself."

"Well then you had better be ready to go to a hospital." Mike warned. "No you know what? I will hurt myself if you try breaking this door down!" Mike yelled eyeballing the razor on the counter. Suicide was a no, no but still...he would do a little if Alex tried. Mike grumbled to himself, picking up the razor and waiting to see if Alex would give up because really he didn't want to hurt himself.

Alex put his eye to the crack in between the door and the wall. He saw Mike, razor in hand. "Shit." He murmured to himself, Mike knew that he wouldn't do this if Mike was going to hurt himself.

"M-mike, put the razor down please." Alex said softly, panicking.

"No...I told you what I was going to do if you broke in...and I promise I will." Mike held the razor against his neck. He knew Alex wouldn't do it if Mike had a damn razor to his neck; well Mike hopped because he didn't want to cut himself but he would if that's what he needed to do.

Alex gasped as Mike held the blade against his neck. He quickly thought of a plan.

He sighed and backed away from the door.

"Fine. I won't. Just please put the fucking blade down."

"No...you might still break in if I do." Mike didn't like the feel of the razor, he was pressing down on it hard, it cut into his neck a little and Mike wanted to take it away but for Alex and the baby he wants so bad Mike refused.

"Then come out here and put it down." Alex said, his goal to get Mike out of the bathroom.

"Why the hell did I come in here in the first place." Mike rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah Imma come out." Mike said sarcastically. "I'll come out on a stretcher if you keep on."

"You can't stay in there all day." Alex pointed out. Then he quickly dashed out of the room and ran around to the side of the building, directly under the window in the bathroom. He quietly began scaling the building.

Mike sighed, Alex was right. He put the,now bloody razor down and stepped out of the bathroom and to his surprise; no Alex. Mike hummed to himself and got his keys. Mike went down to the lobby and got in his car, going to find a place to eat. Mike figured he would text Alex later and let him know where he was going.

Just as Alex got to the window, he heard an engine starting. He turned to see Mike driving away.

"Are you kidding me?" He shouted angrily, hopping back to the ground, following Mike in his own car.

Mike caught sight of Alex's car in his rear view, he sped up. Mike didn't see the stop sign or the car that crashed into him. Mike's car was T-boned.

"Fuck!" Alex shouted, slamming a fist on the dashboard, he immediately pulled over and ran out of the car over to Mike.

"Mike, shit, are you okay?" He exclaimed.

Mike was unconscious, a large gash in his temple, Blood was every where. Mike sat, slumped limply against the steering wheel.

"Shit, Mikey, stay with me baby." He lifted Mike gently out of the destroyed car and carried him back to his own. He laid him carefully in the passenger seat and began driving again, this time to the hospital.

"C'mon please stay with me." He whispered, feeling the tears well up in his eyes.

Mike's head lolled from side to side every time Alex turned the car. though Mike was unconscious he could feel the pain.

Alex cursed under his breath as he pulled into the ER. He grabbed a wheelchair for Mike and it reminded him way to much of the last time they were here. He yelled at everyone in his way as he got Mike a room. He was having a total case of deja vu. And he didn't like it at all.

The doctor made Alex leave the room, got Mike ready for surgery and then came out an hour later. "Mr. Riley...we have some very bad news."

Alex really didnt want to hear it right now. He was so terrified that they were going to tell him Mike hadn't made it. His Mikey was gone.

"Yes sir?" He asked, trying to stay calm.

"Your..." the doctor paused. "Boyfriend, is hurt...badly." The doctor sighed. "You have to choose, him or the baby." The doctor shook his head. "One will die and still, the other could die to."

Alex's heart stopped.

"Are you s-sure? D-do I have to choose?" Alex said, tears slipping from his cobalt blue eyes.

He didn't want to do this. Not at all. His world was crumbling to pieces. There was a chance his Mike would die. Even that small chance made him want to die himself.

"Im so sorry sir, but yes, you have to choose." The doctor nodded, waiting for Alex's to respond.

The tears poured down harder as a loud sob escaped Alex's mouth. He knew he didn't have to think that hard about this.

"M-mike. I want to save M-mike." He cried, cradling his head in his hands.

The doctor nodded and left. The doctor came back 6 hours later. "Mr. Riley?"

Alex's head shot up at the sound of his name. His eyes were bloodshot, his nails were bitten down to the skin, and his face was streaked with tears.

"Y-yes?" He croaked, surprised that his voice was normal, despite the fact that he hadn't spoken in the past six hours.

"Mr. Miznain is stable, he will have to stay here for a while because he is in critical condition." The doctor put a hand on Alex's shoulder. "The baby is gone...but you should be thankful, almost died." The doctor took a breath. "His heart stopped during surgery, but we got him back."

Alex nodded. The baby was gone. That's what he wanted right?

"C-can I see him?" He asked, teary eyed.

"Normally I wouldn't allow it, but..." The doctor paused. "Right before his heart stopped he whined for an 'Alex' and im guessing that's you." The doctor smiled. "You may have been the only thing that made him come through, he wanted you, needed to be with you, the thought of you wouldn't let him go." The doctor nodded. "He is in room 456 on the third floor."

Alex smiled at that information and jogged up to the third floor. He found Mike's room and sure enough, he was lying on the bed, seemingly unconscious. He walked over and cupped Mike's hand in both of his own.

Mike laid limply...he hurt and he couldn't seem to open his eyes. He was afraid and he wanted his lover.

"I love you Mikey. I'm so glad you're okay. So glad. I love you so much Mikey." He whispered although he didnt know if Mike could hear him

Mike wanted so much to open his eyes and talk but he couldn't, and it was driving him crazy. Then the thought stuck Mike through his hazy mind, was the baby okay.

Alex continued talking to the unconscious body.

"I know you're gonna be fine. You'll be fine for me, right Mikey? Yes, you will I know it."

The heart monitor speed up, the fear Mike was facing in his head was doing that, he was afraid he had lost Alex ANOTHER baby. This thought was plaguing him.

Alex was oblivious to what was happening. He just continued cooing to Mike.

"It doesn't matter that the baby's gone, we're still gonna have a nice happy life. Just you and me. Eventually we'll give it a shot but not now."

Mike couldn't opened his eyes but tears poured down them. He had failed Alex, again. Mike was going into shock.

"Oh Mike, it's alright." Alex said soothingly, wondering how Mike was crying.

One of Mike's eyes eased open, looking over to Alex.

Alex beamed as Mike awoke slightly. He gave him a much needed but gentle hug.

"A-Alex.." Mike rasped, trying to move but he couldn't.

"It's alright baby, don't try to move, I don't want you hurting yourself." Alex cooed.

Mike's gaze traveled down and landed on his stomach. Mike looked back and forth from Alex to his stomach.

"What's the matter, baby?" Alex asked, worried that Mike would stress himself out.

Mike stared at his stomach, hoping Alex would get the clue. Mike whimpered.

Alex got the hint.

"Oh honey, it's alright. It's fine really."

Tears made there way down Mike's face. faster. Mike whimpered weakly, he had lost Alex's kid. Mike didn't know what to do.

"Shh, baby, it's okay." Alex stroked Mike's back as he cried.

"A-Alex, your b-baby." Mike croaked. squeezing his eyes shut.

"Mikey, it's okay. That baby would have made you unhappy, so I don't want it." Alex said, running his fingers through Mike's hair.

"Y-you want i-it...d-don't lie to m-me." Mike felt so bad, it wasn't just his body, it was his heart.

"Of course I do. I want to be a parent with you. But that can wait." Alex hugged Mike.

"Im, so s-sorry...for losing another b-baby Alex." Mike cried. His head buried into Alex's shoulder.

"You didn't lose this one. The doctor asked me Mikey. You or the baby. And I chose you. It was my choice." Alex explained holding Mike to his chest.

"Alex!" Mike hissed, "This was your chance to be a daddy!" Mike, with all the strength he had, popped him in back of the head. "You wanted that baby!"

"Do you honestly think I was going to let you die Mike?" Alex exclaimed. "What if you had to choose? Me or a baby, who wasn't yours to begin with? What would you do?"

"B-But Alex...you were so happy...you wanted it...you could have at least tried to have it." Mike shook his head. "Do I really mean enough to you that you would give up a baby you wanted so bad.

"Of course you do! I don't even want a child if I can't have you there by my side." Alex exclaimed.

"Alex..." Mike whimpered. "I-I love you."

"I love you too Mikey. So much." Alex whispered, kissing Mike's forehead.

"A-Alex...im tired of losing...things you hold dear." Mike whimpered.

"As long as you're around I have all I ever need Mike." Alex said, pecking Mike's lips.

"Oh, Alex..." Mike cried, hugging Alex close to him.

Alex just held Mike tightly, whispering sweet nothings in his lovers ear.


	3. Maybe I'm Amazed

It was there two year anniversary and they were spending it on a beach in Florida. Mike strolled into his and Alex's hotel room, Alex's gift in hand. Mike had been waiting for this. Mike loved Alex with all his heart and he loved being able to just spend sometime with him. Mike grinned as he sat down next to his sleeping lover. Mike whispered in Alex's ear. "Happy Anniversary baby."

Alex grinned from ear to ear, eyes still closed, and rolled over, wrapping Mike in his arms. He gently nipped his ear.

"Happy Anniversary." He smiled.

Mike laughed, kissiing Alex sweetly. "Alex, stop you know what that does to me."

"Yes, yes I do." Alex purred, lips attaching to his lover's neck.

Mike groaned, "Alex," Mike whined because Alex was kissing all his sweet spots. "It's a little early for this isn't it?"

"Just a bit." Alex grinned, but still didn't stop.

"Then quit, because if you keep on we'll be in bed all damn day." Mike groaned, shuddering.

"Hmph." Alex pouted, removing his lips from Mike's neck and crossing his arms across he bare chest.

Mike wanted to whine, he already missed Alex's mouth on him. Mike wanted to curse at Alex, he was already semi hard. "Alex damnit, why must you be such a tease."

"You're the one who told me to quit it." Alex stuck his tongue out and smirking at the bulge already forming in between Mike's legs.

Mike grumbled getting up, "Im going to use the bathroom." Mike gave Alex a dirty look, walking to the bath room.

"Hurry back." Alex waved, casually folding his arms behind his head.

Mike got into the bathroom and dropped his pants, his hand traveling down to his member. Mike slowly pumped his self, running his hand over the sensitive head every little while. Mike whimpered his lovers name as he tried to get off.

Alex could hear Mike's small noises, he carefully crept up to the bathroom door, then without warning, swung it open.

"BOO!" He shouted with a smile.

Mike screamed surprised and fell back into the bathtub, hitting his head on the hard tiles of the bathroom wall. "Muther fucker.." Mike wailed at him as he clutched the back of his head.

"Shit, sorry Mike. You alright?" Alex knelt down beside Mike, hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, just didn't want ya having that sort of fun without me."

Mike shrugged his hand off, "You didn't have to do that to me Alex, damnit." Mike's head hurt, his temples especially.

"I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to scare you that bad. Here lemme make it better." Alex's lips made their way to Mike's and his tongue traced his bottom lips, hand drifting down to Mike's already bottomless lower half.

Mike groaned again, his head throbbed but the pleasure he got from Alex was amazing. One of Mike hands came up to rest on Alex's shoulder.

Alex smiled, his lips made there way down Mike's neck as his hand grasped Mike's length firmly.

Mike moaned loudly, "Alex...don't tease me." Mike whined, forgetting all about his head. "Please."

"C'mon then." Alex lifted Mike in his arms and carried him to the bed. He set him down and moved his lips from his neck to his chest, gently biting one of his nipples.

Mike arched his back, his hands traveling down to take Alex's boxers off. "God, Alex...your killing me."

"Then you better move faster." Alex grinned, helping Mike slide down his boxers.

"God!..." Mike paused, looking at Alex's cock hungrily. "How do you want me?"

"It don't matter to me baby." Alex licked his lips, arms wrapping around Mike's neck as he kissed him deeply.

Mike spread his legs obscenely. "I want it hard..."

"Horny, are we?" Alex smirked, stretching this moment out as long as possible.

"Only for you Alex, only for you." Mike cleared his throat. "I want you to pound into me, I want it rough." Mike groaned, wrapping his legs around Alex's waist, rubbing his ass against Alex's hard cock.

Alex smiled widely, this side of Mike only came out every once in a while and he wanted to milk it for all it was worth.

"Alex, I swear if you don't hurry I will trow you down and take what I want." Mike growled, his pucker twitching with anticipation.

"Hmm, that wouldn't be too bad. You say it like it's a threat." Alex smirked, enjoying the effect he had on Mike.

Mike grabbed Alex by the shoulders and threw him down on the bed. Without prep or warning Mike impaled himself down on Alex's hard member.

"Fuck Mike!" Alex shouted. "Why did you say this as a punishment?" Alex smiled. "Damn you're tight!" He enjoyed this more than he should.

Mike growled, the pain was unbearable, he knew he would pay for this but he couldn't help it. Mike started bouncing up and down, he felt himself tear but the blood provided some kind of lubricant. "Ohhhhh.' Mike cried out.

"Oh, Mikey." Alex groaned as Mike bounced faster. "Damnn."

Mike stopped his bouncing for a minute to grind down against Alex. Mike cried out when he felt Alex's hard member hit that bundle of fuck. Mike continued to bounce, aiming to have Alex hit that spot over and over.

Alex threw his head back and let out a scream of ecstasy, his eyes rolled to the back of his head. Mike had never been this aggressive before... but Alex was going to make sure he did it again sometime in the (very near) future.

Mike leaned down to kiss Alex, his tongue rubbing against Alex's. Mike was close, he could feel it. It only too a few more minutes and Mike cam hard, grinding down against Alex as he came.

Mike came, cum spurting out all over Alex's chest, just that, combined with Mike's face of ecstasy pushed Alex off the edge.

"Mike!" He screamed, and came deep inside of Mike's ass.

Mike didn't have the energy o get up, so he just sat there with Alex still buried deep inside of him. Mike needed to move, he was in pain now that the please had subsided. Blood and cum were leaking out of Mike abused hole.

Alex saw the pain in his lovers eyes. He pulled him off of him and laid him on the mattress beside him.

"I love you Mike." He whispered, kissing his cheek.

"I love you to Alex." Mike whispered, trying to lay still and not move much.

"Should've let me prep you, see what being impatient gets ya?" Alex joked, but he hugged Mike comfortingly.

"If you weren't such a damn tease." Mike snapped, he was hurting he didn't feel like kidding around.

"I'm sorry baby." He kissed Mike's forehead.

"How bad is it?" Mike asked quietly because it hurt something fierce.

"Doesn't look too bad." Alex lied, it looked horrible, but he wasn't about to tell Mike that.

"Okay...thank you." Mike hissed as he turned over and then the hiss became a whimper. "Happy anniversary Alex."

"Happy anniversary baby." Alex grinned, pecking Mike's lips.

Mike tried to sit up. He needed to go get cleaned up and then see if he could do anything for the pain. Even if it hurt he didn't regret making love with Alex.

Alex saw Mike struggling. He lifted Mike out of the bed and to the bathroom.

"Alex...do you want to go out somewhere?" Mike questioned. "It is our anniversary.

"'Course I do. Anywhere you want honey. Let's just get you cleaned up." Alex cooed hugging Mike.

"Wanna go swimming at the beach?" Mike hmmmed. "I bet that would be fun."

"Anything would be fun with you." Alex grinned. "Let's go."

Mike limped into the main room to get some trunks. "God, why must you be so big." Mike whined because when he walked, jolts of pain burned through his who body.

"'Cause, you wouldn't want me if I was small." Alex stuck his tongue out, jokingly of course, he knew Mike would want him either way.

"God, Alex how bad did you tear me?" Mike whined at Alex, having to stop walking, but still not daring to sit down.

"Pretty damn bad." Alex thought to himself. "Not too bad, not that I could tell you anyway. I'm not a doctor."

Mike didn't want to mess up this day but damnit, he was in pain. Mike decided he would try and just shake it off. "Okay then, get ready." Mike leaned against the dresser.

Alex slowly got dressed, keeping an eye on Mike the whole time.

"Ya sure you're alright, Mikey?" He asked.

"Ummmm...yeah Im fine." Mike lied, leaning heavily on the dresser.

Alex frowned but helped Mike outside.

"Maybe the water will help you feel better." He shrugged.

"I hope." Mike hated how pain shot up his spine every few minutes.

Alex slid off the baggy tee he chose to wear as they walked along the beach. He did a cannonball in the water and popped back up at the surface beaming. He then carefully lifted Mike in.

"This is relaxing." Mike smiled, which it was relaxing but it made the sting worse.

Suddenly Alex disappeared under the water. He reappeared, this time holding Mike on his shoulders.

"Boo!" He grinned.

Mike squealed, his ass hurt! Mike kicked to make Alex let go and then he fell back into the water.

"Gosh, why does the word boo make you hurt yourself?" Alex chuckled, scooping Mike out of the water.

"You hurt me as, you ass!" Mike whined, sticking his tongue out at his lover. You should stay away from the word 'Boo', before next time it kills me.

"Fine." Alex pouted. "But your reactions are so cute... until you get hurt." He chuckled.

Mike stuck his tongue out at Alex. "Your so mean to me." Mike put his arms around Alex. "Your going to have to make the pain in my ass up to me."

"And how exactly do you want me to do that?" Alex raised an eyebrow, as he pecked Mike's forehead.

"Im sure you'll find away Riley." Mike pouted, putting his hands on Alex's shoulder and then pushing him under the water.

Alex was caught off guard for a moment, but he quickly caught his breath and popped back to the surface. He coughed lightly.

"Oh you will pay for that." He mockingly glared.

"Yo wouldn't do that." Mike smiled innocently. "You love me too much."

"Y'know I absolutely hate when you're right." Alex smiled, dunking Mike gently in the water.

Mike kissed Alex's neck. "You love me, might as well let it go and admit it to the world Alex." Mike laughed.

Alex laughed slightly and pulled Mike in for a hug.

"Love you Mike." He smirked.

"I know." Mike said, taunting Alex. After four hours, they were ready to go. Once they got back to the car Mike unwillingly asked. "Alex, can we stop by a doctors?"

"What? Why? You're okay right?" Alex panicked, turning to face Mike.

"I'll be fine once I see a doctor." Mike nodded, trying to settle in the set.

Alex nodded, still uncomfortable. He was really afraid that he'd hurt Mike.

Once they got to the office and cheeked in, the doctor took Mike and Alex back with him to a private room. Mike explained his pain and there earlier activity's and the doctor put a glove on, told Mike to drop his pants and bend over and then the doctor lathered up his finger with lube. Mike was afraid, he didn't want anyone but Alex did this to im even if the doctor wasn't sexual.

Alex tried to look away as the doctor examined Mike. But he couldn't ignore the burning sensation in his stomach and the urge to slap the doctor for touching his Mike like that.

Mike wanted to whine, or call out for Alex to make his stop. The doctor probed and prodded for a long while until finally withdrawing his bloody finger. ", no wonder you hurt so much, you are torn in at least 7 different spots." The doctor continued. "Give them time to heal and next time, be careful and gentle." The doctor shot Alex a look. There is nothing I can do put give you pain pills and recommend you take a break." The doctor trashed the glove and walked out the door after telling them he would be back with the pills.

"Asshole better not look at me like that again." Alex growled, walking over to Mike after the doctor was gone. "Better get his fucking hands off my honey too." He wrapped his arms around Mike's waist.

"Im sorry Alex. He had no right to look at you like that; this is all my fault." Mike shook his head. "Im sorry we cant hand anymore anniversary sex..."Mike looked down, but then his head snapped back up. "I can still pleasure you though." Mike smiled at his lover.

"No big deal baby. S'alright. You'll be better before you know it." Alex smiled, rubbing Mike's back comfortingly.

~2 Month's Later!

Mike walked back to the hotel room he was hearing with his lover. Normally he would have been excited but he had lost so many, he refused to get his hopes up. Mike entered his and Alex's hotel room and laid down on the bed, Mike called Alex to come lay with him.

Alex rolled into bed, throwing an arm over Mike's shoulders.

"Whats wrong baby?" He asked, pulling Mike to him after seeing the look on his face.

"Im scared." Mike was afraid to lose another child. This one was Alex's but after his history there was no way of knowing if he would keep it. "Hold me."

Alex frowned, and held Mike to his chest.

"What is it baby?" He kissed Mike's forehead as he tousled his hair.

"Im pregnant." Mike deadpanned, wait for Alex's reaction.

Alex pretty much was neutral on the matter. There was part of him who was ecstatic. He still wanted a child. And there was a part that was terrified, scared that he would lose it again.

"What do you think Alex?" Mike asked quietly.

"I... I'm excited, but I don't want to get my hopes up and have something happen again y'know?" He hugged Mike.

"Yeah, I have let you down to many times for you to really be excited." Mike felt tears gather in the corner of his eyes.

"Mikey I didn't mean it like that. Both times before it was my fault. I'm not mad at you at all. And they do say third time is a charm." Alex smiled, not wanting Mike to feel guilty.

Mike sighed. "You were not at fault, and I am afraid to lose these babies to." Mike had not told Alex earlier, he had found out he was pregnant a few weeks ago, he just found out they were twins.

"Babies? As in more than one?" Alex asked confused.

"Twins." Mike informed him. "I don't know what genders yet." Mike shrugged.

Alex couldn't help but smile. Then he reminded himself to not get too excited.

"That's wonderful." He grinned.

'Yeah, its wonderful." Mike said lamely.

Alex frowned.

"Aren't you the least bit excited?"

"If im not excited it might hurt less if I lose them." Mike admitted, leaning his head on Alex's shoulder.

"That's what i thought too, but I can't help myself. Twins, Mikey, twins." He grinned from ear to ear.

Post by Mike Mizanin on Wed Sep 29, 2010 6:23 pm

"Twins." Mike repeated, smiling slightly. "Alex, I love you."

Alex chuckled.

"Love you too, baby, love you too." He wrapped his arms around Mike tightly and squeezed him too his chest.

1 Month Later

Mike was moody all the time. Right now the moody, bitch was laying down asleep with a headache and hormones. Mike was waiting for Alex to get home, he had been told that next moth they would be told of what genders the twins would be.

"Honey I'm home!" Alex laughed, jogging in the room and plopping down beside Mike.

"You take too long to get home, I was lonely." Mike said, scooting up to Alex, a small baby bump had already formed.

Alex rested his head lightly on the bump, not enough to hurt it, just enough to hear the small noises from inside. He grinned, this was the first time there had actually been significant evidence that there was in fact a baby inside of his lover.

Mike ran his fingers through Alex's hair. "You like that damn bump, don't you?"

Alex nodded, beaming. He rubbed small circles on the bump with his hand.

"Just wait until a few more months, im going to be huge." Mike hated that, he didn't want to be fat. "You'll be so happy when they start kicking."

Alex smiled so big it hurt.

"All three of my babies are right here." He grinned, holding Mike in his lap.

Mike had to smile at that. "God, I bet I have been a big moody child lately." Mike intertwined his and Alex's finger's. "Your happy...im so glad."

"You just wait, im going to drive your ass crazy." Mike smirked.

"Great." Alex said sarcastically, pecking Mike's cheek. "You've always been quite moody though."

"But you love it." Mike patted his stomach lightly. "I hope the morning sickness passes soon though."

"Me too." Alex frowned, he hated hearing his lover puking his guts out 24/7.

"Do you want two boys? Two girls? What?" Mike questioned, caressing Alex's cheek.

"It doesn't matter as long as we made them together. I'll be happy with anything. Hell, I don't care if they're conjoined." Alex grinned.

"Now Alex, what kind of life would they have." Mike asked, worry setting in.

"Relax Mikey. They'll be fine." Alex said, placing his hands on Mike's shoulders and looking into his eyes.

"I wish could know that before I have them, life will be miserable for them." Mike shook his head, staring at his lover.

"Their life will be fine, Mikey. Even if something happens, we'll help them through it, ok?" Alex pecked Mike's forehead, holding him close.

"Okay." Mike replied, enjoying the warmth of his lover.

The room got silent and they just enjoyed each other's company. Alex stood up as he finally got the nerve to do what he'd been wanting to for a while now.

Mike let out a pitiful whine. "Alex, I was warm...and so comfy." Mike pouted.

With a simple, but nervous smile, Alex took Mike's hand and helped him off the bed. He stood Mike in front of him, pulled the small black box out of his pants, and got down on one knee.

Mike blinked and tilted his head, "A-Alex? What are you doing?" Although Mike was almost certain he already knew. Mike knees wobbled at the thought, his eyes stung but he would not do anything until he knew, Alex was doing what he had dreamed of him doing since there first night together.

Alex took a deep breath, making sure he was prepared if Mike rejected him. He opened the box revealing the ring inside.

"Michael Mizanin, I am positive that we are meant to be together and I love you with every inch of my being. You're my reason to live. Will you... will you marry me?"

Mike's knees gave out, tears sprang to his eyes. He couldn't believe it, this was on of the happiest days of his life. Mike cried out of happiness, the man he loved wanted to be with him forever.

Alex felt his heart break as Mike began crying. He didn't know the tears were of joy.

"Mike, you don't have to. I was just asking." He tried to sound like he wasn't dying inside.

Mike hugged Alex around the middle, crying into his chest. Mike was trying to hard to get that one word out but his throat had closed, all he could do was cry and hug Alex.

Alex was about to cry himself. It hurt him so bad that Mike didn't want to spend the rest of their lives together.

"Really, It's okay, no need to cry. I'll go take the ring back and everything ok?" Alex said, holding back tears.

Mike breath caught in his throat, suddenly Mike found it easier to speak. "No!" Mike wailed, "Why would you do that? I wan to marry you, I want to be yours forever. Mike looked up at Alex. "Please don't take it back."

"I thought... you... crying... and..." He couldn't form a sentence. "Thats a yes?" He asked his lover, clarifying what he had just heard.

"Yes." Mike hugged Alex tightly. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,yes!" Mike wailed. " I am yours, and I'll always be yours."

The tears spilt out of Alex's eyes. This time of joy. He lifted his lover up in the air and spun him around, smashing his lips to Mike's.

"I love you Mike. So so so much." He whispered.

"I love you to, Alex. I have wanted to this for so long." Mike kissed Alex, "You have given me every thing I have ever wanted and more."

Alex smiled through the tears at Mike's sweet words. He laid back on the bed, pulling Mike into his lap. He slid the ring on his lover's finger.

Mike stared at the ring and then looked at Alex lovingly. "I want to spend the rest of my life as you husband."

Alex smiled.

"I'm so happy you feel that way." He intertwined their fingers.

Another 2 Months Later

Mike was so excited, sure he was fatter than he had been but not a big as he was going to get. The baby bump had grown, lets just say that. Mike hurried back to his and Alex's room, a hand on his pregnant belly and the other holding on to test results. "Alex!" Mike hollered as he got into the house. "Alex!" He yelled again.

"Yes baby?" Alex smiled, more at Mike's stomach than at his face.

"Lookit! Lookit!" Mike waved the test results in his face. "Its the genders of the babies!" Mike was so excited, he wanted to jump into Alex's arms but he didn't want to upset his stomach.

Alex chuckled at Mike's excitement but he was just as excited to find out.

"Gimme!" He shouted, grabbing the papers from Mike.

Mike hopped from foot to foot, he hadn't read them yet, he waited for his fiance. "Well?"

"One girl, one boy." Alex beamed. He was ecstatic, he couldn't decide which he wanted more, a boy or a girl, now he would get both.

Mike squealed in delight. Mike wrapped his arms around Alex's neck, "One boy and one girl," Mike grinned. "Perfect."

"It sure is baby. You're perfect." Alex pecked Mike's lips.

"Oh, God what will we name them?" Mike asked excitedly.

"Well the boy is definitley, Alex Jr. Just need a middle name. And you can decide the girl." Alex smiled.

Mike laughed, "Alex Jr, huh?" Mike grinned. "I like it."

"There's no debating that one. I'm open to suggestions for the girl." Alex smirked, folding his arms across his chest.

"Sydney..."Mike said fondly. "I like Sydney Hope Riley." Mike nodded enthusiastically.

"That's great. Hmm... middle name.. Alex Michael Riley Jr. He'll have both of our names." Alex grinned at the clever idea.

"Okay, im happy with that." Mike nodded, pleased at what the names of there children would be.

"I can't wait Mikey." Alex beamed.

For the first time, it was looking like they would actually keep and successfully have a child. Not just one but two.

2 Months later

Mike's belly was swelling up. At this moment he laid in bed, trying to relax after yelling at Alex for something or another. Mike's eyes snapped open, and he put a hand to his stomach. Something had just hit him, Mike held his and still and sure enough, something hit it. Mike couldn't help the surprised but happy grin that slit his face; his babies were kicking. Mike laughed, this would be a fun way to surprise Alex.

Alex walked into the room to see Mike smiling and holding his stomach.

"They doin' anything?" He asked his lover.

Mike gave Alex the cold shoulder, still mad about whatever they were arguing about earlier. Mike figured that when Alex got in bed and started loving on him, and one of them kicked, Mike smirked thinking about how freaked out Alex would be.

Alex rolled his eyes.

"So we're in one of these moods." Alex had gotten quite used to Mike's moodswings. "I swear, if you don't give birth soon I am going to scream." That didn't mean he liked them.

Alex sighed and crawled in bed, pecking Mike's neck.

Mike "humped" And turned and scooted away from Alex. "Don't touch me Riley." Mike spat.

Normally, Alex would've tried to kiss up and eventually, he would've won Mike over. But he knew there was no point arguing with pregnant Mike.

"Mikey, I'm really not in the mood. Just love me please." Alex frowned, begging was the only thing that ever worked lately.

"No, now stop pestering or im going to sleep else where." Mike warned, which he wasn't but still.

"Pleeeeeeeassseeeeeee." Alex whined in Mike's ear, hugging him from behind.

When Mike was about to replay he felt a kick. Mike couldn't help but smile.

"What?" Alex asked, wondering why the sudden mood change.

"Nothing." Mike said innocently waiting for a kick to be aimed at Alex's arm.

Alex placed a palm on Mike's stomach. He jumped about a foot in the air as something pushed his hand.

"Mike, was that what I think it was?" Alex exclaimed, beaming.

"Yup! They like you as much as I do right now, I think they want you to get off there pissy momma." Mike crossed his arms; amused.

"Nah, the babies love me. That's their way of showing affection." Alex smirked.

"Ain't that right lil guys? Well lil girl and guy?" Alex cooed, placing kisses all over Mike's inflated stomach.

"Alex, that tickles!" Mike giggled, his hand on side of Alex's face to push him away.

"Now does it?" Alex smirked. "Maybe this'll teach ya not to be mean to your fiance." Alex stuck his tongue out and continued kissing the bulge. He blew a raspberry on it as if Mike was a child.

Mike yelled out and squirmed. "A-Alex, stop it!" Mike kicked his legs. "Please!" Mike cried.

Alex smiled, and reluctantly stopped kissing his lover's stomach.

"You're lucky you're so fuckin adorable." He grinned.

Mike sucked in gallons of air, and then he promptly pushed Alex down, straddled him and kissed his lips lovingly. "I love you, you annoying prick."

"Watch your mouth, there are children in the room." Alex chuckled. Then pecked Mike's lips. "Love you too, you moody ass."

"Who need to watch there mouths now, Mr. Riley?" Mike pouted, laying a hand gently on his pregnant stomach.

"Well, at least if they said asshole we would know why they were talking to." Mike laughed "They would call you an ass before daddy."

"You're so mean to me." Alex pouted.

"You started it." Mike said simply, curling up with one hand on his belly and the other intertwined itself with Alex's hand.

"I know." Alex smirked, kissing Mike's stomach one last time.

Mike raised his eye brow. "No kiss for me?" Mike pretended to be hurt.

"Nope." Alex smirked, jokingly. Then, leaned up and kissed Mike's lips.

Mike smirked and kissed back. "I love you."

"I love you too honey." Alex grinned and rested his chin on top of Mike's head.

3 Months Later

Mike had been waddling around in the kitchen looking for some chocolate ice cream Doritos, he had started eating that stuff together, talk about weird cravings. Mike had been at the sink when a sharp pain hit him. It hurt so bad he let out a pained yelp and fell to his knees.

"Mikey, you alright?" Alex called curiously from the bedroom.

"Ummmmm." Mike called uncertainly. "I-I think I need to go lay down." Mike bit his lip as another wave of pain hit him. "C-Can you carry me to the bed?"

"Course I can baby." Alex jogged into the kitchen, and easily scooped Mike up in his arms. He laid him gently down on the bed.

Mike imminently curled up into a fetal position. Mike cried out as pain hit him again, and tears made there way down his face. Mike reached for Alex's hand, he was scared and didn't know what was going on.

Alex took Mike's hand and held him.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"I-I don't know..." Mike whimpered. "Hurts..." he trailed off, squeezing Alex's hand.

Alex's eyes widened.

"Mike... do you think it's... time?"

"I-I don't know...M-Maybe we should w-wait and see if the pain gets worse or goes away." Mike sniffled. "Time the pain..." Mike wondered if they were contractions.

"You're right, I'm just excited. It's probably nothing." Alex shrugged it off.

Mike cried out again, both hands clutching his swollen belly. "A-Alex." Mike whimpered. "H-hurts."

"My poor Mikey." He held Mike to his chest, kissing his forehead and rubbing Mike's stomach.

"A-Alex...Take me to a hospital." Mike wiped his eyes. "Whether im having them right now nor not, the pain is too much."

"Alright, hun." Alex cooed, he lifted Mike again and carried him to the car. He got in and drove them to the hospital.

By the time the got to the hospital Mike thought he was dying, it hurt so bad. "A-Alex, I don't know whats wrong but if I die...I want you to know I love you."

Alex cursed under his breath.

"I love you too, but you're not going to die."

"Just in case." Mike tried to get out of the car but fell to his knees as another wave of pain washed over him.

Alex dashed over to Mike and helped him up.

"It's okay honey, it's gonna be okay." He helped Mike limp into the hospital.

Mike's doctor was by his side immediately, the doctor told his nurse to go get ready for surgery, and as they took Mike away he calmly explain to Alex what A C-section was and why Mike needed it. The doctor nodded, "I assume you know the risks of Mike dying are higher than usual?"

Alex gulped but nodded.

He felt his eyes brimming with tears. Some were of joy. His babies were about to be born. But most were of fear.

"Ill be back to talk to you later." And with that the doctor left.

5 Hours Later

The doctor came back to speak with Alex. "Mr. Riley?"

"Yes?" Alex eagerly stood, glancing at the doctor anxiously.

"The babies fine, but you'll have to leave." The doctor paused and placed a hand on Alex's shoulder. "Because there momma's fading fast." The doctor gave Alex a sympathetic look and then walked away but he called out. "I'll be back when you can see your babies."

Alex collapsed back in his seat, tears he'd been holding back spilled down his cheeks.

In the other room, Mike was fighting for his life and there babies were being cleaned up.

Alex wanted more information. Was there any chance Mike would live? If there wasn't couldn't he at least see him one last time? He stormed to the front desk demanding answers.

"Sir, they are trying to keep him alive, and if they can't they call you to see him on last time." The women at the desk answered. "But you can see the babies now."

Alex huffed, but he was dying to see his children.

They led him to the room with the children and showed him where his babies were.

He gasped.

"They're... beautiful." He reached out and stroked one of their cheeks.

The one wrapped in a bright pink blanket blinked up at him and giggled. The one in the baby blue blanket took on of Alex's fingers in his small hands.

Alex's felt like his heart could not hold all the love he felt for these children, combined with Mike. He smiled down at the tiny bodies.

The doctor came in. "They sure a beautiful aren't they Mr. Riley?" The doctor glanced at him. "Michael is...in bad shape. We told him having twins could kill him." he doctor shook his head sadly. "He is not dead...but he still might not make it through the night...you should go see him."

Alex nodded, happiness fading. The beeping of machines got louder as he walked towards Mike's room. His heart sped up until it felt like it would burst out of his chest.

"Mikey?" He called.

Mike's skin was cool to the touch, his face still red and tear tracks were visible. Mike's body was limp, the only sigh he was alive was the beeping of the monitors and the weak rise and fall of his chest.

The tears began falling again as he fell to his knees. He didn't have the strength to stand back up.

The thump of Alex's knees hitting the floor echoed. Mike heard nothing, felt nothing. Mike was in a state of nothingness.

"No, don't leave me baby. You can't go. Stay with me honey." Alex pleaded, clinging onto Mike's hand.

"I can't raise two children by myself Mikey. I love you. If you can hear me just know that I love you, alright?" Alex cried.

Mike's pulse was slowing, his hand was cold. But Mike could faintly hear his fiance's voice.

"You're still in there. At least a little. Please, try to stick in there baby."

Mike's eyes slowly opened, his gaze fell on Alex.

Alex smiled through the tears, he could tell Mike wasn't completely better but it was something.

"Hi baby."

"Hi" Mike rasped weakly. unable to do anything more.

Alex grinned widely at his voice.

"Baby don't talk, save your energy."

Mike quietly wondered where the babies were, and if they were okay. Mike also was in pain, his stomach hurt from where they cut him open.

"You're gonna be okay, Mikey. I'm talking too much. Nod once if you want me to keep talking. Nod twice if you want me to shut up."

Mike nodded once, looking at Alex expectantly. He needed to know about his babies.

"Good, i don't think too much when I'm talking. Gosh, Mike, the babies... they're gorgeous. It's amazing to think that we made those together. They're like little angels. And, Sydney, she has the most beautiful laugh I've ever heard." Alex smiled, thinking of the children he'd only spent a brief moment with but already loved more than the entire world..

"Go...Babies...Fine." Mike wanted to tell him to go spend time with the babies, he was fine, even though he wasn't.

Alex got a vague idea of what he was saying.

"No way in hell am I leaving you alone right now, Michael Mizanin."

Mike sighed, he didn't want Alex to leave him. Mike moved his hand so it hung off the side of the bed, he wanted Alex to hold him t he was in too much pain so hand holding had to be enough.

Alex took his hand without hesitation. He placed a soft kiss on the back of it and squeezed it gently, letting Mike know he was there.

"You...Okay?" Mike rasped.

"I'm fine. And for the last time, stop wasting energy baby. You need all you can get." Alex cooed, gentle but firm.

"Make...me." Mike said slowly, having trouble breathing.

Alex chuckled. Even on what was possibly his last day, he was as stubborn as always. He leaned up and kissed Mike's cheek.

"Please."

Mike nodded, Alex asked nicely so he would. It was just annoying to try and communicate and be unable to move or talk.

"I love you Mikey." Alex whispered.

Mike's eyed Alex lovingly but he couldn't say it because Alex did say please. Mike just nodded his head.

"I know you love me too." Alex smiled.

Mike nodded, and found a smile for his fiance.


	4. Home Is Where The Heart Is

_**~Again this is with the editing and I would like to just thank **_

_**BlackDiamonds.32.20.54 for the reviews, they mean alot! We eat them up so, if you would keep reviewing, we promise to keep updating! Thank you again! and now onto chapter four. And yeah, the fight they have can be called stupid but Mike just had kids, humor him~**_

Alex grinned but felt tears brimming his eyes as he knew this might be the last one of Mike's smiles he'd ever see.

Mike's smiled fell from his face, his eyes took a worried look to them.

"Try to keep smiling for me baby." Alex pleaded. If Mike was going to go, he wanted to remember him as this.

The frown deepened but for his lover Mike faked a grin.

"How are you feeling? Nod once for good. Do nothing for ok. And nod twice for bad." Alex said, glancing at Mike hopefully.

Mike wanted to lie but right now, with Alex how he was, he didn't think lying would be a good idea and truthfully Mike was in pain. Mike nodded twice.

Alex frowned as a single tear fell down his face.

"It's alright baby. Can I hug you or will it hurt too bad?"

Mike nodded once, wanting a hug, not caring if it hurt.

Alex leaned down and wrapped his arms around Mike, placing a kiss on his forehead.

Mike was silent, he just let Alex hold him, not know what to do to make things better for his lover. Mike, with as much strength as he could muster, lifted his hand and eyed the shining, golden, wedding band.

Alex placed their palms together so the rings were touching.

Mike grinned, his eyes shining brightly. "Love...you."

"I love you too." Alex smiled, he didn't want to tell Mike to stop talking again.

Mike smiled, and held onto Alex's hand, his eyes slipping shut, and he laid still and limp against Alex.

Alex bit back more tears. The only thing that gave him hope was the slow beeping of the machines Mike was hooked up to, signaling that his heart was still pumping.

"Glad...know...you...love...me..." Mike's breathing was ragged.

"I do. So much. I'll never stop loving you. Even... even if this is your last day. I'll never move on baby. Never. I want you to know that, even if it means raising our children alone, I will never love anyone else." Alex whispered placing small pecks on Mike's hand.

"No...move...on.." Mike didn't want Alex to be alone, if he died he wanted Alex to find someone else. Mike couldn't stand knowing he might be leaving Alex alone forever.

Alex shook his head.

"No, I can't Mike. I won't."

"Please." It was simple but to Mike it meant everything. Mike wished he could see his and Alex's babies if this really was his last day.

"Fine." Alex said. He had no intention of actually moving on, but the last thing he wanted to do was argue with Mike.

Mike didn't reply, the heart machine's beeps were slowing down.

"No, no, please god no. Let him be okay." Alex prayed under his breath.

Mike laid limp in Alex's arms, his breathing shallow and he was close to flat lining.

"Please, god. I'll go to church every week. I guess it's too late for the whole purity thing, but I won't make love to Mike again until we're married. Anything, just let him stay. Please, let him make it." Alex pleaded, tears pouring down his face.

"Alex...Im I... dying..." Mike questioned weakly, trying to open eyes that refused to open.

"I don't know, baby, I don't know." Alex cooed, stroking Mike's hand with his thumb. That was a lie. The answer was yes. But Alex couldn't frighten Mike like that. Plus, saying it aloud would be accepting it.

"I hope...not...I... don't want... to leave ...after finally ...giving you babies...I...don't...want...to...leave...you." Mike couldn't go, he was fighting it so hard.

"It's okay baby, just stop talking please. I don't want you to strain yourself." Alex frowned, squeezing Mike's hand.

"But...fine...but if... these may be... the last things... I say to you... then they ...will be... I love you...never...forget that." Mike wheezed, he was exhausted. If he was dying, he would die knowing Alex loved him and Alex knew Mike loved him too, more than anything.

Alex turned away, he didn't want Mike to see the pain in his eyes. He didn't want this to be the last time he saw Mike. He didn't want to raise their children alone. He didn't want Mike to die.

"I love you." He whispered.

"Okay...now...leave..." Mike hated it but he didn't want the last thing Alex had ever seen him do was die. Mike couldn't have that so he continued. "I...don't...want...you...to...watch...me...d-die." Mike's voice cracked on that last word.

"No, no way. I won't leave you." Alex stated. There was no question about it.

"Please...I...don't...want...you...to...remember...me...like...this." Mike wanted Alex to remember him happy and smiling, not dying and afraid. Before Alex could replay a doctor came in. "Sir, we will need you to leave, we are going to try and keep Mr. Mizanin alive." The doctor took in a breath. "Im not saying he will but Im trying, to tell the truth the chances of him living or almost zero."

These words crushed the last bit of hope Alex had.

"Can't I please stay?" He begged. He was this close to getting down on his knees and pleading.

The doctor sighed, "There is something wrong with him, we need to do surgery to see. And he lost too much blood, he needs a blood transfusion." The doctor was so close to letting him stay it was ridiculous. "You don't need to see him being cut into and all that stuff."

"Please?" Alex tried, tears dripping off his chin to his chest.

"Usually I don't do this but...You can stay for the blood transfusion, you cannot be in here for surgery." The doctor stared at Alex expectantly. "Deal?"

Alex nodded. He wanted to be here for the surgery too, but he didn't want to push his luck.

Mike was already gone, not as in dead, he had gotten so weak he passed out. The doctor told Alex to sit down with Mike. Two nurses came in with a few bags of blood, an IV and one of the nurses, feeling bad asked Alex if he would like to hold Mike's hand while they found a vein and hooked him up.

Alex nodded, biting his lips as he held Mike's hand. He gently squeezed and rubbed small circles with his thumb.

The nurse quickly found a vein and the IV was set up. "Mr. Riley, we need to go get things ready for surgery, can you handle him?"

Alex nodded. He wasn't able to speak at the moment.

"Mikey, you're going to be okay." He cooed, even though he knew Mike couldn't hear him.

The nurse came back. "We need to prep him for surgery." She told Alex, already putting a hand on Mike's neck to find a pulse.

Alex nodded yet again.

"Do I have to leave now?"

"Yes, unless you want to see what his insides look like," The nurse said bluntly.

Alex reluctantly stood.

"I love you Mike." He whispered.

He placed one last kiss on Mike's forehead and walked out the door.

5 hours later the doctor came back in. "Sir..." The doctor started. "I think he will live."

Alex beamed but refused to get his hopes up.

"R-really?"

"We hope so, he had internal bleeding. Among other things." The doctor smiled. "Go see him."

Alex practically ran back to Mike's room, pushing past any doctors or nurses who got in his way.

Mike was aware of things, like the pain in certain parts of his body, the way they ached and burned, Mike noticed the loss of breath, the taste of blood in his mouth, and the beeping of the machines. But even though he noticed and felt all of that, he felt like he was alone and Alex was not there, that was worse than the pain he felt physically. Mike didn't want to be alone right now.

Alex darted to Mike's side and took his hand again.

"Hey, baby I'm here now. I know you probably can't hear me but I just want you to know I'm here with you."

Mike weakly squeezed Alex's hand. A tiny smile playing on his lips.

Alex grinned widely at the small sign of movement.

"I love you honey. They think you're gonna make it."

"Don't...want ...to ...leave.. you..." Mike forced out, so happy that his lover was with him.

"I don't think you're going to Mike. I think you're gonna stay with me baby." Alex cooed, pressing his lips to Mike's temple.

Mike blinked his eyes open. "Babies?..." Mike stared at Alex expectantly.

"You wanna see em? I'll go ask." Alex nodded, then walked off to find a doctor.

He was skeptical, but eventually let Alex bring the twins into Mike. Alex walked back to Mike with a baby in each arm and a smile on his face.

Mike blinked and then lifted a weak hand, caressing Sydney's cheek with it. "Ours..."

Sydney let out a giggle and wrapped her tiny fingers around Mike's thumb.

"See, she already loves you." Alex smiled.

Mike tried to sit up, but he couldn't, the pain in his stomach too much. Mike glanced at the place on the bed next to him. "Please..."

Alex sat down beside Mike and held out the babies so Mike could easily touch them without straining himself.

"Healthy?" Mike questioned, staring up at Alex with hopeful eyes.

"Mhm. At least, no one's told me any different." Alex replied.

Mike looked up at Alex, his gaze questioning. "Happy?" Mike ran a finger over Alex Jr's chubby cheek.

"Very." Alex replied with a huge grin.

Mike let out a sigh of relief. "I...wont...be...home...as...soon...as...they...will." Mike's eyes grew sad, he wanted to be there the day his babies left the hospital.

"Yes, you will. I'm not gonna leave your side until you get better. I'll sleep here and so will the babies." Alex stated.

Mike shook his head stubbornly. "I...want...you...to...take...our...babies...home...a...hospital...is...not...a...fun...place...to...be." Mike's throat hurt, the energy to talk he did not have in the first place was leaving him.

"Don't argue with me. I'm staying and that's final. Stop wasting energy." Alex said firmly.

"Don't... make... me ...waste ...my ...breath...arguing...with...your...hard...headed...ass..." Mike wouldn't have his babies stay in a hospital unless they needed to.

"Then stop arguing. I can have them make you go to sleep again, y'know." Alex smirked.

"Alex...please..." Mike pleaded, "For...me..." They wouldn't have to put Mike asleep, he wouldn't have the energy to stay awake if Alex kept this up, he needed the energy he was using to talk.

Alex hated when Mike begged like this especially in his current state.

"No. I'm staying ok?" He said once again. He could tell Mike wasn't going to give up so he called in the nurse and had her give Mike another shot of anesthesia.

"Night Mikey. I'll be here when you wake up." Alex smiled, kissing Mike gently.

Mike cried as this happened, he was pissed. As Mike's eyes closed and his consciousness slipped away, he said he was not going to forgive Alex for this.

Alex frowned, he hated when Mike cried.

"I'm sorry honey." He whispered. He knew this was the best. Mike couldn't keep arguing.

When Mike woke up, he was determined to make Alex leave him the hell alone. Mike was mad, Alex had him put to sleep. Mike wouldn't speak with him, wouldn't do anything and when he could speak he would tell a nurse to not let Alex in to bother him.

"Baby, you can't stay mad at me forever." Alex pouted, rubbing Mike's shoulder softly.

Mike grit his teeth and shrugged his hand off. Mike turned away from Alex, he wanted to tell him to just fuck off.

Alex frowned and lifted Sydney. He held her in front of Mike.

"C'mon, ya can't stay mad at this little face. She doesn't want her parents to fight."

"Alex..." Mike rasped. "Fuck...off." Mike stared at his baby lovingly but he was not letting up.

"Mike, don't say the f word to Sydney." Alex had really been trying to work on his language.

Mike pressed the button to call the nurse. And then sat back and waited for her to arrive, he was going to make Alex leave him the hell alone.

"Mike..." Alex frowned. "Honey, you needed sleep."

The nurse came in. "Him..." Mike pointed at Alex. "Leave..." Mike glared at Alex.

"He's still a bit out of it." Alex reasoned with the nurse.

Mike coughed, raising his hand to cover his mouth and when he brought it away there was blood. "I...want...him...gone..."

"Please let me stay with him. He's just a little upset at the moment." Alex frowned at the nurse.

Mike raised his hand like he was ready to hit Alex. "Leave." The nurse meekly added. "Sir, it looks as if your the one upsetting him."

Alex sighed.

"I'll be right outside Mike." He called as he walked out of the room.

The nurse took the babies, but not before Mike ordered for her to keep Alex Riley out.

Alex sat in a chair, right outside of Mike's room. So he'd be able to hear if Mike needed him.

It had been 3 days, and Mike was still refusing to let Alex in. Mike was not kidding when he said he was pissed.

Alex hadn't moved from his spot in front of the door except to go to the bathroom.

"Mikey, we have children now. We can't fight like this anymore. How do you think this will effect them in the long run?"

Mike ignored him, simple turning over and trying to sleep. He would not have Alex doing things like that to him. Alex didn't know how much that hurt Mike and he never would.

"Mike, please tell them to let me back in. I'm begging you here. The babies miss you." Alex pleaded.

"Then...my babies...can come...in" Mike's energy and strength had been built up a little. "You...I will not...forgive...you."

Alex felt tears building up.

"Honey p-please. We can't fight like this. We f-finally got the family we've always wanted. Baby I'm sorry." Alex said, voice cracking as a single tear slid down his cheek.

Mike hated this, he couldn't do this if his lover was crying. Mike put his hands over his ears, trying to block it all out.

"Please, baby. I'll do anything, just let me in. I miss you." Alex whimpered.

A tear made its way down Mike's cheek, he missed Alex. Mike didn't want to let up, Alex needed to know how bad he had hurt Mike's feelings.

"You don't have to talk to me, just let me in. I just want to be near you." Alex begged.

"N-No!..." Mike could not just let up...Mike stared at the door, hoping that Alex would come through but then again he didnt want Alex to see him, he was mad at Alex.

Alex rested his head against the wall, letting a strangled sob escape his lips. That was when he heard the first boom of thunder.

When the loud clap of thunder met Mike's ears he let out a squeak of fear and hid under the covers, the back of his eyes already staring to sting.

"Mike!" Alex banged a fist on the door. "Are you alright?" Alex was worried, Mike was terrified of thunder storms.

"No..." Mike whimpered quietly. He didn't want to be alone during a storm. Mike bit his lip as lighting lit up the sky, tears falling freely.

"Mikey, let me in. I want to hold you." Alex frowned, he knew Mike must be freaking out right now.

Mike got up and hid under the bed, taking his covers with him. "Help." Mike begged quietly.

"I want to baby. But you need to tell them to let me in." Alex cooed.

"N-No!" Mike Mike meekly hollered, curing into a ball, hugging himself for comfort.

"Honey, I don't want you to be alone. I know you're scared right now." Alex reasoned.

"S-So! I was scared when you had me put to sleep like a dog!" Mike cried, curling up tighter.

"Baby, I'm sorry. Please don't stay mad at me." Alex pleaded, he was fully prepared to get on his knees and beg, but Mike couldn't see him.

"You had me put to sleep! Take our babies and just go home!" Mike wanted his babies home, fuck the hospital.

"Only because you needed rest, sweety. You were wasting energy arguing with me. I'm so so so sorry, honey." Alex said, calmly.

"You should have went home, then I wouldn't have had to!" Mike was dying inside and the thunder had him scared to death.

"I couldn't just leave you alone, think of it the other way around. What if I was the one in the hospital?" Alex tried.

"Stop it!" Mike hiccuped. "Go away!" Mike was alone, it was dark and raining, it was his own personal hell.

"Honey, don't be like this please." Alex cried, tears falling again just after he'd managed to stop them.

Mike just got quiet, he didn't feel like arguing anymore. Mike didn't care, if Alex wanted in then fine but Mike was not being nice or acknowledging him.

Mike had just stopped answering. Alex was worried. He didn't know if Mike was hurt or just ignoring him. He had a nurse open the door and let him in.

It seamed as if Mike was not even in the room, he and blanket were gone. He was under the bed, curled up and afraid. Mike hated thunder storms...

"Mike, where the hell did you go?" Alex said, panicking.

Mike didn't move, didn't make a sound, he didn't want to be found but that was a lie. Mike wanted Alex to hold him, kiss him, make it all better.

Alex heard a small sob. He bent down and saw a piece of fabric sticking out from under the bed. Fabric from a hospital gown. He pulled up the blanket and found Mike curled up under the bed.

"My poor Mikey." He frowned.

"D-Don't touch me!" Mike cried, rolling away and backing into a corner. "D-Don't..."

Alex gently tilted Mike's chin towards him so he could see into his tear filled eyes.

"Mikey, I'm sorry. I love you. Please stop being mad at me."

Y-You had me put t-to sleep! D-Do you know h-how I f-felt?" Mike cried, tears cascading down his face.

"No, I don't. I'm not going to lie and pretend I do. But what I do know is how much I love you and how sorry I am. I hate fighting with you Mikey." Alex whimpered.

"Why did you h-have to d-do that?" Mike pushed Alex. "W-Why!"

"Do what?" Alex asked, wiping away a stray tear.

"I will not be treated like your bitch...I AM NOBODY'S BITCH!" Mike pushed Alex again. "You cant do that to me! I almost died! I wanted my babies at home, not at a hospital, was that to much to ask? You told me what was going to happen and then you had me put to sleep like you bitch!" Mike shook with rage and sorrow. His eyes bloodshot and wet.

"I never said you were my bitch, baby. You aren't my bitch, not at all." Alex said, determined to stay calm, rubbing Mike's back soothingly.

"Dont touch me! I didn't want my babies to spend there first week of life in a fucking hospital!" Mike cried. "I was afraid they would have to because they weren't health, they were! But they still spent there first week in a damn hospital because of me damnit!

"Mike, don't worry. They aren't going to remember this at all. What they will remember is their parents fighting 24/7 so please calm down, baby." Alex cooed.

"I will remember it, and we are fighting..because of you." Mike pointed to the door and covered his mouth. "Now leave."

The tears poured down even faster.

"Baby, please. I'll do anything." Alex bawled, getting up on his knees and placing his hands together, looking down at Mike.

"Take them home..." Mike looked at Alex. "Just take my babies home...I dont see why your so hell bent on not doing it." Mike shook his head, slinging off a few tears.

"F-fine, can I atleast hire someone to watch them so I can stay here with you?" Alex sniffled.

"A-Alex...b-baby im fine. You d-dont have to be here I-I do for now, why make y-yourself miserable? Mike cupped Alex's face in his hands. "I want all three of my babies at h-home, happy, relaxed and c-comfy. Mike shook his head. "This hospital cannot be g-good for you."

"B-but I won't be relaxed if I know you're in here by yourself." Alex pouted.

"I will be fine, I was all alone before you came along so im sure it wont kill me to stay alone for a few more days." Mike answered, he would rather have Alex with him but he wanted his babies to have there daddy.

"Honey please?" Alex begged, making the best sad face he could.

"Alex, now dont do that to me-" Mike jumped into Alex's arms as another loud clasp of thunder sounded the room.

"Mikey, I can't leave you alone when there's a storm." Alex frowned, kissing his lover gently.

Mike whimpered. "Th-then when the storm is o-over." Mike hid his head in Alex's chest.

Alex sat down on the bed with Mike in his lap, gently placing kisses on his neck to relax him.

"Do you know how long they will keep me here?" Mike questioned gently, to scared to speak any louder.

"I don't know baby. I hope not too long." Alex cooed.

"I don't want you to be away for long...I dont want to be away from you any, but the babies."

"Honey, the babies will be fine with a babysitter. They won't even remember this week of their lives. I want to stay with you." Alex said.

"Alex, do you really want to leave the first kids we actually got to keep alone with some stranger?" Mike asked because he didn't he had lost 2 too many.

"We'll get someone we know and trust to do it." Alex reasoned.

"But Alex, that wont be the same as daddy."

"I doubt they'll even know I'm their daddy yet Mikey. They're new born's"

"I know, and I will feel better if your with them. I'll know there safe." Mike was ready to beg his lover.

Alex sighed in defeat.

"Fine. But I'm visiting you every day."

"For how long." Mike jumped as another bolt of lightning kit up the sky.

"As long as I feel like." Alex said with a smirk.

"I can have you kicked out again, Riley." Mike glared, this was not funny to him at all.

"Mikey, don't be like that baby. I'm sorry." Alex said, giving him a hug.

"Yeah, you are sorry." Mike rolled his eyes. "Go take care of my babies."

"Honey I thought you said I could wait til the storm was over? I don't want to leave you alone right now."

Mike made a noise and decided to let it go. "How are the twins?"

"Great." Alex beamed.

"Can I see them?" Mike questioned, snuggling up to his lover. He missed his babies.

"Mhm." Alex smiled and asked the nurse.

Mike waited patently for the nurse to bring his kids, tears still dripping down his cheeks when thunder shook the room.

Alex came back with the babies, and held them out to Mike.

Mike scooped them up. "How are my angels today?" He cooed, kissing Alex Jr on the head.

Alex Jr. giggled as Mike's lips made contact with his head.

Alex chuckled, rubbing Sydney's cheek.

"We have our hands full." Mike hummed, grinning at his lover.

2 weeks later Mike was released form the hospital. When he got home he was greeted with his babies and his loving soon to be husband.

****

**REVIEW PLEASE!**


	5. Halloween Horror

_**~This is set maybe a year or almost a year since the twins were born. Their will be time skips all through out the series. Now if you think the fight they have is childish well then humor it, they are a young couple and they happen to have these little disputes. Anyways, this was edited by and I would thank you all for reviews333~**_

Mike shivered, it was October and it had become increasingly cold. He was happy though, this would be his babies first Halloween. Mike pulled his coat tighter around him before he stepped into his and his lovers hotel room. "Alex, Im home!" Mike shouted. "Come love me and warm me up" He demanded, rubbing his cold, numb hands together in a desperate attempt to warm them.

"Of course baby." Alex smiled, jogging to the door and hugging Mike tightly.

"The babies missed you."

"I know, cuz Imma awesome 'mommy'." Mike grinned and kissed Alex cheek. " I miss you and them."

"I miss you too." Alex grinned, kissing his lover. It was amazing how every kiss with Mike felt like their first.

Mike held Alex tightly, he was freezing. "What are the twins going to be for Halloween?" Mike questioned, shivering again.

"Sydney's gotta be something cute, like a bunny." Alex smiled.

Mike giggled, his lover always knew everything it seemed. "Okay, whats about Alex Jr?"

"Now, he's my little tough boy, so he's gotta be something manly. Ain't that right Alex?" He cooed with a grin.

Mike giggled. "He could be our night in shining armor." Mike paused and then added. "Im still cold."

"Then c'mere, silly." He held Mike close, placing kisses all over his neck.

"Alex," Mike shivered. "Stop that, he kids are watching." Mike scolded.

"What? Their parents aren't supposed to love each other?" Alex asked with a smirk.

Mike glanced at the kids. He didn't know how having to dads was going to affect his babies. "I dunno."

"What's wrong baby?" Alex frowned, brow creasing. He could tell something was bothering his lover.

"Its nothing, im probably just making a big deal over nothing." Mike faked a smile and kissed Alex's cheek.

Alex could tell this was a lie but he didn't want to bug Mike. Especially not in front of the kids. He'd wait until later after they fell asleep.

Mike went over to the bed, now that he thought about it, it was bugging him until the point that he had a headache.

"Mikey, you okay?" Alex asked, massaging Mike's temples.

"Yeah...I need an aspirin.." Mike rolled over so that Alex was no longer touching him. Until this problem was solved he didn't know if the babies should see them being so...Mike groaned in frustration, he couldn't help who he loved.

Alex frowned, trying to hide the hurt in his eyes. Mike obviously didn't want to touch him. He stood and tossed Mike the asprin.

"Here." He grumbled.

Mike frowned, he didn't like Alex being mean, Alex was never mean. Its not like he was yelling but still, it was scaring and worrying Mike...his lover just threw Aspirin at him. Mike sighed and went to the bathroom, locking the door. Mike leaned against the door and sat there thinking.

Alex frowned, it seemed every time they got into a fight Mike locked himself in the bathroom. He didn't want to fight in front of the children.

Mike turned the water on so Alex would think he was taking a shower. Mike sat against the wall again, he was trying to clear his head. Mike plugged in the radio he insisted on keeping in the bathroom and let his CD play.

Oh half of my heart's got a grip on the situation

Half of my heart takes time

Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you

That I can't keep loving you

Oh, with half of my heart

With half of my heart

A lump formed in Alex's throat as he heard the song playing. He quietly turned and sat back on the bed, holding his babies, one in each arm. He refused to let himself cry and worry the kids but the thoughts kept running through his mind.

Had Mike found someone else?

Did he do something wrong?

Did Mike not love him the same anymore?

Something was up and Alex was determined to find out what it was.

Mike felt tears form in his eyes and he let out a quiet sob. He couldn't take it so he changed the song before it became too much and Alex heard.

But I'd rather you be mean than love and lie

I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye

I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know

But baby don't you break my heart slow

Alex couldn't take it anymore. He put the kids down for a nap. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door lightly.

"Mike come out here. I want to talk to you." He whispered.

Mike got up quickly and turned the water off and un plugged the CD player. Mike took a deep breath and wiped his blood shot eyes. Mike opened the door slowly and stepped out, standing face to face with his lover even though Alex was a little taller than him...or alot.

"What's wrong baby? I don't want you to hide things from me. I tell you everything and it worries me that you're keeping something from me." Alex said with a frown, looking deep into Mike's ocean blue eyes.

"Well..." Mike sighed and closed his eyes, he couldn't deal with this. He had become an emotional wreck since having the twins.

"Mikey what is it? I want to make it better." Alex said.

"Me and you...its not normal..." Mike whimpered. His babies would not be normal with two daddy's. What will other people say, will they out cast his babies, Mike didnt know what to do. But Mike knew he could not and would not give Alex Riley up, he needed Alex or he couldn't live it seemed, couldn't or wouldn't he wasn't sure.

"O-oh." Alex stammered. "Y-you don't want me any m-more?" Alex let out a whimper, mentally cursing himself as tears brimmed his eyes. Was Mike too afraid of what people would think? Had he been trying to go straight?

Mike gasped, his eyes growing wide and watery. "No, no, Alex baby no." Mike hugged his fiance. "Nothing like that, I would not live without you, I would never not want you, do you understand me." Mike took Alex's face in his hands; making Alex look at him. "Do you?"

Alex nodded slowly, lip trembling.

"I thought you w-wanted a family?" He asked, teary eyed.

"Alex...I want a family but." Mike paused and then continued. "How will this affect our kids? What will people think? They will be out casts, they will feel like freaks because they dont have a mommy." Mike sighed. "They don't need me, they need a mother." Mike rubbed Alex's cheek with his thumb. "You are a wonderful father, best I have ever seen, but you need a wife, a mother for the babies." This was killing Mike but he knew it was true. "They don't need me, I will make it weird, they need a momma, a real one."

"But I don't want a mommy. I want you. Just you." Alex folded his arms across his chest and his bottom lip jutted out.

"They do." Mike pointed at the sleeping twins and shook his head. "And that's all there is to it." Mike crossed his arms and stared at Alex with loving eyes.

"I will get a fucking sex change if you want them to have a mother!" Alex exclaimed in a hushed voice, so he didn't wake the kids. "And they don't even know what they want yet. How do you? What if they're completely fine with having two daddy's? What if they grow up to be gay rights activists?" He said with a chuckle.

Mike glared. "This is not funny Alex." Mike growled, turning around to go back into the bathroom.

"Not kidding. If it will make you happy, I'm willing to get a sex change. Would you rather me start bawling? It's either that or making jokes." Alex said truthfully, gently grabbing Mike's shoulder to stop him.

"I want you to let go, and let me go bawl. Excuse me if I am having problems laughing about this Riley." Mike shrugged Alex's hand off and then walked into the bathroom. The door closed with a soft 'click'.

Alex sunk to the ground, hitting his head off of the door.

"Mike, we have children. We can't fight like kids anymore. We have to talk about our problems. You can't go and hide anymore."

"The door is unlocked, im not hiding, and I can do what I want and the kids are asleep." Mike was temped to pick up the razor and go back to cutting, he might just do that...

Alex stood and sure enough the door was unlocked.

"Then I'm sitting in here with you." He said, walking in and plopping down on the edge of the bathtub.

Mike cursed he hand the razor in his hand so quickly he hid it behind his back and slid it to the other side of the room, putting his hands in his lap and looking innocent. "Great, company." Mike muttered sarcastically.

"I know you too well Mike. I'm not about to leave you alone in here." Alex said.

"I hate you so much." Mike grumbled, that had hurt to hear but it was true, he couldn't be trusted.

"And I also know you don't mean that."

"Yeah? Well than you know nothing." Mike crossed his arms and turned his head away, trying not to eye the razor.

Alex sighed.

"Stop this Mike. We used to fight all the time like this. But we've been doing good since we had the kids. Don't be like this please." Alex begged.

"I am not yelling, im not crying, im not sulking. I'm just sitting here." Mike explained calmly. "I am doing nothing wrong."

Alex simply shook his head.

"Whatever."

Mike snapped his head over to look at Alex "You know what, if you want to be an ass, then leave."

"Right, I'M being an ass." He rolled his eyes.

Mike jumped up and got just inches away from Alex face. "Do NOT test me Alex, you WILL regret it." Mike warned.

"Relax Mike." Alex stood, placing his hands on Mike's shoulders.

Mike was getting riled up, he was pissed. "Don't tell me to relax and get you damn hands off me."

Alex raised to his full height.

"Mike, don't talk to me like that." Alex said, voice lowering. "You need to calm down."

Mike stood up, he was not as tall but he was just as mad. "Make me." Mike challenged.

"Oh, you don't want me to make you Mike. Calm down and I will let this go."

Mike laughed in his face. "Let it go, and your the one who started it? Whatever and you cant MAKE me do anything."

Alex felt his breathing getting heavier. His heart pounding. How dare Mike say these things. Did he not realize how much Alex had done for him? Alex clenched his fist, cracking his knuckles. He opened his hand back up and swung, connecting with Mike's cheek. He pulled back, his hand stinging from how much force he'd used.

Mike's head banged against the wall which he fell slowly lifted a hand to his stinging, throbbing, cheek. Mike tasted blood on his tongue and felt tears in his eyes. His brain was trying to register what had just happen, there was no way Alex had just struck him. "Y-You.." Mike stuttered out, his words wobbly and unbelieving. "H-Hit m-me..." Mike couldn't look at Alex, he didn't know what to expect so he just sat there, waiting for Alex to hit him again.

Alex sat back down on the edge of the tub, not believing what had just happened. His world seemed to halt. He hadn't really done that had he?

"I... did." He breathed. He had hit Mike there was no denying that.

Mike flinched when Alex moved, covering his face with his hands trying to block his face from more blows. Mike was not afraid of Alex harming the kids but he was now scared that Alex may hurt him.

"Mikey... I... I didn't mean that. I'm so sorry." Alex cooed, reaching out for Mike's hand, still in disbelief.

Mike jerked away, staring at Alex with wide, fearful eyes. Mike back himself into the corner of the room that was farthest away from Alex. "D-Don't t-touch m-me."

"Mike baby, oh god I'm so so sorry. Please don't be scared of me." Alex pleaded, head in his hands.

Mike crawled out the bathroom door after struggling to get it open. Mike crawled under the bed which was against the wall so he was in a dark corner, under the bed, praying to God Alex didn't want to hit him again. Mike glanced at his babies and they were fine, still asleep and Mike didn't worry about Alex hurting them. Alex might have just hit him but he wouldn't hit the babies; Mike knew they were safe but as for himself, he wasn't so sure.

"Mike, come out please." Alex said, kneeling down beside the bed.

"N-no." Mike stuttered wide eyed, trying to get as far away as Alex as he could.

Alex simply sat there, waiting. He wanted to see Mike so he could apologize properly.

"A-Alex...P-Please..." Mike begged. "D-Don't H-Hit M-Me A-Again." Mike hiccuped. "L-Let me B-Be P-Please..." The word hit didn't sound right but it was, Mike didn't want Alex to hit him again, and it was hard to believe he did it in the first place. Mike wanted to believe that flash ran by and hit him but was gone before he saw...he didn't want to believe Alex would hurt him.

"I won't baby. I promise." Alex cooed.

Mike was not coming out, he was cold, and hurting. Mike curled up tighter and closed his eyes, trying to forget everything and block it all out.

"Come out when you're ready baby." Alex said softly before dozing off on the floor.

Mike only came out twice why Alex was asleep. One to put the twins back to bed when thy woke up and once to grab a blanket. Mike slept on the floor, under the bed, in a corner. Mikes face was split, bloody, and bruised, and it hurt like a muther fucker.

Alex woke up the next morning and Mike was still sleeping. He quietly stood, got a plastic baggy and filled it with ice. He then slid it under the bed to Mike, hoping it would help his cheek.

Mike woke up a little bit later than usual, found the ice which was melted but still cold. Mike held it to his aching cheek and hisses and pain. Mike curled up tightly, the ice pack making him cold all over than the churning in his stomach didn't help, Mike was still scared.

Alex heard the movement from under the bed.

"Baby, you up?" He called.

"Y-Yes." Mike replied timidly, he didn't want to upset Alex and have another bruise on his face.

"Okay, baby. Did you sleep well?" Alex asked.

"Fine." That was a lie but Alex did NOT need to know that. Mike's back was hurting.

"Y'know you can come out here honey. It's probably a lot more comfortable."

"I-Im fine." The stinging pain in Mike's cheek kept him from getting out from under the bed.

"Baby, can't I at least see you?" Alex frowned.

Mike didn't want Alex to drag him out. "P-Promise not to touch me." Mike asked, he waned it to be an order but he was scared of his lover and his lovers wrath.

"I promise sweety." Alex wanted to cry. He hated that his lover was now frightened by him.

Mike slowly made his way out from under the bed. Mike face looked like hell, a line of dried blood made its way from his lip to his chin and then on down his neck. From under Mike's eye to his jaw was a black, blue and purple bruise with an angry pinkish color surrounding it.

Alex's jaw dropped at his lover's face.

"Mikey..." He shook his head.

"C-can I give you a hug?"

"P-Please dont t-touch me...O-or come any c-closer..." Mike was ready to go back under the bed.

"Honey, I don't want to hurt you. I promise. I j-just want to hug you." Alex said, chest shaking with silent sobs.

Mike backed up a little. "Y-You promised." Mike wanted the hug but he was to afraid to let Alex give him one.

"I kn-know." Alex cried, shaking his head.

Mike sat down on the floor beside the bed, ready to roll under the bed if Alex seemed as if he was going to try and touch him.

Alex sat down beside him, wanting so badly to comfort Mike. But he resisted the temptation, not wanting to make Mike leave again.

Mike scooted away quickly. "D-Don't come any Cl-Closer." Mike had his hands ready to block his face, he didn't know what to do, Alex didn't seem mad but still.

Alex let out a sob. But he nodded and obeyed Mike's wishes.

Mike wanted to hold Alex, didn't want his lover crying; it broke his heart. Mike couldn't make himself go near Alex though, he was afraid of being hurt again but his love for Alex was strong, so he tentatively reached out a hand brushed Alex's shoulder with his finger tips. "D-Don't C-cry." Mike stuttered.

"I deserve to cry." Alex said, wiping tears away with the back of his hand.

Mike couldn't take Alex crying, no matter how bad Alex had hurt him. "I-I love Y-You...P-Please Don't C-Cry."

"Baby, don't you worry about me. You have every right to hate me right now. I'm just upset with myself."

"I-Im sorry..." Mike didn't know what he was sorry for, Alex had hit him...hurt him. But there was something about his lover crying that made him feel sorry.

"Don't say sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for baby. I'm sorry." Alex said.

"B-But your crying..." Mike let his finger tips brush over his throbbing cheek. Mike scooted over to the wall and leaned against it.

"I'm crying 'cause I'm mad at myself. It's not your fault that I'm an asshole."

Mike trembled, he cheek was swollen and hot to the touch. "I-It was one t-time." Mike knew that didn't matter but he hated Alex hurting, Mike was used to hurting, that used to be all he felt before he met Alex.

"Stop trying to make me feel better, honey. I should be helping you." Alex said. Why was Mike being so nice?

"I-I can help myself..." Mike stood and went to the small kitchen, but not before catching a glance at his face in the mirror of the bathroom. Mike let out a small gasp, how had Alex done such a thing to him.

Alex buried him head in the pillow on the bed.

How could he let himself hurt Mike?

Mike let the tears fall again, quickly wiping them from one cheek but he was careful about touching the other. Mike calmed himself down and went back to trying to find something to wipe the blood away with, normal he would go see the babies but he didn't want them to really see him like this now that he knew had bad it looked.

Mike let the tears fall again, quickly wiping them from one cheek but he was careful about touching the other. Mike calmed himself down and went back to trying to find something to wipe the blood away with, normal he would go see the babies but he didn't want them to really see him like this now that he knew had bad it looked.

"Mike, I'm sorry." He croaked, words muffled by the pillow.

It's amazing how one moment of weakness can change years of love.

He sat there, trying to think of anything to make Mike forgive him.

Mike went on about trying to wet a wash cloth. After getting a wet cloth Mike went back to his place against the wall. Mike hissed as the warm cloth touched his hurt cheek.

Alex began humming under his breath, making up a tune. Occasionally adding a few more notes.

Mike gently rubbed off the dried blood, careful of how much pressure he used. Mike listen to Alex hummed, he didn't know what was so happy he had to hum about but whatever floated his boat, Mike was hurting, his cheek and his heart.

He reached over and grabbed a pad of paper and pen off the night stand. He frantically scribbled down words not wanting to forget.

Mike eyed Alex warily, ready to hide under the bed if he moved towards him.

As he ran out of words, he thumped the pen on the pad, deep in thought. Finally he finished. He held up the piece of paper and read through it once.

Mike finished cleaning his face and put the now bloody rag away. Mike looked at his face again now that it was clean, all he could say about it was that it was not bloody.

"Mike, can you come here?" Alex asked tentatively.

Mike gulped and slowly walk over to Alex but he was sure to stay in escape range.

"I wrote something for you." Alex said tentatively.

He cleared his throat and began to sing.

"It's 3 AM and I finally say

I'm sorry for acting that way

I didn't really mean to make you cry

Oh baby, sometimes I wonder why

Does it always have to come down

To you leaving

Before I'll say "I love you"

Why do I always use the words

That cut the deepest

When I know how much it hurts you

Oh baby why, do I do that to you

I know I'd never let you walk away

So why do I push you 'til you break

And why are you always on the verge of good-bye

Before I'll show you how I really feel inside

Does it always have to come down

To you leaving

Before I'll say "I love you"

Why do I always use the words

That cut the deepest

When I know how much it hurts you

Oh baby why, do I do that to you?

Why do I always use the words that cut the deepest?

When I know how much it hurts you

Oh baby why, do I do that to you?

Why do I do that to you?"

When he finished, he stayed silent for a moment.

"I know it's not very good..." He mumbled.

"A-Alex..." Mike forced himself over to the bed and sat down next to Alex. "I-it was great.." Mike took a deep breath and Kissed Alex's cheek. "Thank you..." Mike wanted to lean against is lover but decided against it.

Alex looked over at Mike, teary eyed.

"C-can I?" He asked, opening his arms for the hug he'd wanted earlier.

Mike took a few calming breaths and nodded, his mind replaying the stinging pain in his cheek over and over again.

Alex wrapped his arms around Mike in a gentle, loving hug.

"Honey I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you so much." He cried into Mike's shoulder.

Mike carded his hands through Alex's hair. "Shhhhh, its okay." Mike cooed, he didn't see how he was the one who had been...abused...Mike shuddered at the thought. But he had been abused and Alex was the one crying. Mike just shook his head, at least Alex would be okay as far as Mike could see.

"I'm an asshole. I don't get to hurt you, then be comforted too. How are you feeling?" He asked, pulling away and looking into Mike's eyes.

"I'm fine." Mike lied, truth was it hurt, and he was still scared to death. Mike tired to smile but his cheek wouldn't let him. "Its not b-bad at all."

Alex knew this was a lie.

"Mike I love you. Don't forget that please. It was an accident and I'm so sorry okay?" Alex frowned.

Mike nodded, "Its o-over now, d-dont matter anymore." Mike shrugged. Its not like he loved Alex any less, he was just afraid of him to an extent now.

"It does matter. I want to make it up to you." Alex sighed. "But I don't know how."

It can't be made up, Mike thought to himself. Alex would have to work to gain his trust back, and it still my never fully come back. Mike had been hurt too many times to think that its just going to be okay all of a sudden.

"Is there anything I can do?"

Mike shrugged, nothing he could think of would make up for Alex actually hitting him.

Alex nodded.

He had no right to be upset. It was his mistake and he had to take the consequences.

"C-Can I ask why?" Mike wanted to know what he did so he made sure he never did it again, maybe he should just back down from Alex when ever he was mad, Mike didn't want to be it again.

Alex racked his brain, sifting through the memories of the previous night. But he came up empty handed. Nothing in particular had triggered his reaction. Maybe the laughing in his face, maybe the fact that Mike didn't think Alex would do anything about it.

"I... don't know."

Mike sighed. "I suppose its my fault, I was stupid enough to think you wouldn't dare put you hand on me." Mike shrugged. "I should have known better." Mike was relived his speech had been fluent instead of him stuttering every word.

"No honey, I want you to think that I won't put my hands on you. 'Cause I promise it's never gonna happen again."

Mike shook his head. " I thought that, and look where it got me. I felt to safe with you, that was my mistake. It wont happen again."

Alex nodded. He would let Mike heal on his own time. But until then, he would do everything he could to make Mike believe that last night was a mistake.

Mike still wanted to know what he had done that was so wrong. What he had done to deserve Alex to hit him like he did.

Alex placed a hand on Mike's shoulder and a light kiss on the cheek that wasn't bruised.

Mike flinched away, he wasn't expecting the quick movement. Mike quickly scrambled off the bed and under it.

"Mikey." Alex sighed.

Mike curled back into his corner when he heard one of the babies crying.

Alex walked over to the crib.

"Sydney, what's wrong baby?" Alex cooed, lifting the small child out of the bed.

Mike peeked out from under the bed, the thing about them needing a mother coming back to bother him.

_**Review**__**!Please!**_


End file.
